Home > Football > Why the Chelsea-Manchester United match was US-less at keeping me awake
Why the Chelsea-Manchester United match was US-less at keeping me awake
While a fair proportion of the world was fixated on the Champions League final, one sports fan found it all one big yawn.
by T Warnick on 24 May 2008
Email this Article (22) Comments
Free £25 bet when you register at
Official Merchandise Delivered Direct to Your Door
Soccer (from the old Latin for "dreadfully boring"), took centre stage the other night in Moscow, with an all-English European Champions League final between Chelsea of London and Manchester United (whom most of my English friends refer to simply as the "scum" - though they pronounce it "scoom").For some inexplicable reason - it must have been a EU committee that decided on such after a series of meetings in Brussels - the finals MUST start at 8.45pm CET (Central European Time), which meant 9.45pm in Israel and 10.45pm in Moscow (and, of course, 2.15am in Mumbai - go figure).To Muscovites and all of Europe's endless delight, the game ended after 90 minutes and 30 minutes overtime in a scintillating, fascinating and otherwise delightful 1-1 tie, which then led us into the further drama of penalty kicks, which eventually ended around 1.45am local Moscow time (5.15am in Mumbai) in victory for the Scoom.'One of the great things about soccer is that you can - as I did - fall asleep for 20 minutes during overtime, wake up and discover that you have missed exactly nothing'One of the great things about soccer (or football, as it is called in some other places) is that you can - as I did - fall asleep for 20 minutes during overtime, wake up and discover that you have missed exactly nothing (I woke up just in time to see Didier Drogba from Chelsea slap some conniving Scoomer in the face and get red carded, i.e. ejected, for his actions).Frankly, it was a big night for me: I actually stayed awake for 90 minutes, and had someone actually won during regular time, I could have claimed that I stayed awake at least once for an entire game (or "match", as it is called). Alas, I still cannot make the claim that I have made it through a whole game without falling asleep (of course, my family and friends will tell you that I don't make it through a lot of things without falling asleep...).The sad part of all this is that I am of course, an avid sports fan, and not only will I watch almost any sports event, but I have even learned about and enjoy rugby (though I prefer rugby union over rugby league; or is it the other way around? I always get them confused...), Aussie rules football (entertainingly brutal - and who are those funny referees dressed in white standing under the goalposts?) and even good one-day international cricket (yes, I know what "lbw" means), though I draw the line at five-day Test matches - they always seem to end in a draw. I still have a hard time with any sport that informs me that "England were 121 for 4 at tea" and breaks for lunch.
The fact that the rest of world LOVES soccer and treats it like a religion... is probably only a commentary on the rest of the world, and not on the game itself.
Comments (22)
by Pete V on May 24, 2008
You could say the same about American football. Two minutes of playing time and the rest waisted in huddles, time outs, walking to a huddle, walking away from a huddle, set, count, oops, time out for a conference with the coach, tv break. The fact is if you don't understand the game you don't feel the excitement. (I like both sports). U.S. football is not too successful in any other countries. The people don't understand it either.
by CK CK on May 24, 2008
Leave football alone. Its not for america because you will never understand the beauty of the sport. Its for the best. Enjoy you nascar and other "exciting" sports.
by Kazačok on May 24, 2008
I would rather spend a year in Iraq (or in any other country striked with war)then watching just ten minutes of American football. The same for basketball.Some 2 and a half meters high bulks jumping,jumping and jumping between baskets and acting as a hip-hop stars. But all credit to NASCAR which I found much more interesting then Formula 1.
on May 24, 2008 on May 24, 2008
The fact that the rest of world LOVES soccer and treats it like a religion... is probably only a commentary on the rest of the world, and not on the game itself. ----- Very ingorant comment to make. Typical arrogant tripe one would expect from the land of overweight people.
by Donal on May 24, 2008
The argument 'Americans hate 0-0 and 1-1, and soccer has way too much of that.' suggests a misunderstanding of this sport. As does the statement that you can fall asleep for 20 minutes and miss nothing. Football (or soccer if you like) is a much more subtle game than its spectacular moments of highlight-reel entertainment suggest. It is not designed for goals to be scored every five minutes. A fan could not sit through 90 minutes of a match for the sole entertainment of goals. If you took the time to learn about the game you would begin to appreciate, as the hundreds of millions of football fans around the world do, that each moment in the course of a match is instrumental to its overall result. So for the fan, appreciation can be found in every excellent pass that is threaded through a crowd of players to find its man, every well-timed tackle which breaks up the opponents attack, every surging run that creates an opening, every breathless save, powerful header, moment of skilful touch and ball control. Not to mention every attempt on goal. A football match is full of these moments. As it is with changes of rhythm and tempo, tactical alterations, controversial decisions and the intervention of its best players. On top of all this there is the occasional moment of incredible inspiration, which for the fan are beautiful moments to savour but to the critic merely provide an excuse to ignore all the other elements of the beautiful game. I think America's problems with the game are indicative of the commercial, fast-food nature of the country - where the majority demand that everything must be big, flashy and obvious. Isn't it more likely that their hatred of football says more about them than it does about the rest of the world, or the game? Given that they are a nation of about 300 million people, within a world population of 6 billion? That, evidently, did not occur to this critic.
Football, either you love it or you dont undertand it. Most americans just dont understand it, and propably never will
by George Aris on May 24, 2008
typical xenophobic insular uneducated yank who thinks 'it must be the rest of the world it can't be us' - the rest of the world can actually understand the culture of football (whats with 'american' football couldn't you think of another name for your pussy game?) please feel free to look up the word culture maybe you ought to try and import that from Europe as well.
by Can Tona on May 24, 2008
I would love to see how this idiot 'journalist' responds to all these comments. I dont think there is anything more I can say. Typical Yank. Its not the rest of the world, its you guys (who incidentally, no one else in the world likes) who are intollerable and lack culture.
by Ambrose Smith on May 24, 2008
Quote "The fact that the rest of world LOVES soccer and treats it like a religion... is probably only a commentary on the rest of the world, and not on the game itself." Unquote. Isn't this a variation of the myopic theme that "they're all out of step but my Johnny" ? Otherwise known as arrogance.
by Dorothy Cooper on May 24, 2008
Don't paint all Americans with the same brush. There happen to be plenty of soccer fans here. In fact, a new MLS team is coming in Philadelphia in 2010 and there are already 4000 season tickets sold! Granted, it's not European Football but it's a start. Soccer is gradually becoming more prominent, and I am very excited about it because I find American sports to be extremely boring. It is however, very disappointing to read comments that state all Americans are alike. We're not. Just because one idiot has these opions does not mean that all of us agree. He probably voted for Bush too.
by Omar Ahmed on May 24, 2008
Guys, pardon this moron. He boldly claims soccer is not catching up in the US? What an idiot! It definitely is! He probably fell asleep writing this article. They call it American football yet they rarely use their feet.
by soren lindenhann on May 24, 2008
well done!! 2 times 45 min without commercials that must have been hard.. I think that the tv stations "over there" must have 2 persons and a monitor - showing the different in formation and so on - every 5 min. The game you are talking about was The most exciting games i have seen for a very long time. I'm not saying you are stupid.. but is'nt strange that every popular sports on yout tv all have a lot of breaks with time outs and so on..
by Steve Gallius on May 24, 2008
Yet another mind numbing article from the conveyor belt of mediocrity. Actually, this isn't even mediocre, as that would be a compliment and there was nothing complimentary about this article. 'Frankly', it was patronising and plain arrogant. The Americans don't like 0 - 0's and 1 - 1's? Well, doesn't the fact that more people watch football worldwide than any American sport suggest that the rest of the World see something that The Americans don't? Because, football is going from strength to strength everywhere else and yet it still isn't picking up in America. I'm sure you all think you are too good for a game of evens, which quite honestly suggests you miss the whole point of football. The skill, technique, strategy, tactics, inter-play, the big picture. I would rather watch an all out exciting battle for a 0 - 0, than watch 2 - 3 hours of Americans 'playing' baseball or American 'Football'. I mean, you can't appreciate an attacking game of football, yet you can sit and watch a man throw a ball at a stick for 3 hours, for a game that may end up 6 - 5? Or watch a load of men run around in their fancy uniforms and with their helmets, doing nothing, a few huddles, throwing balls 60 yards for a touch down? Lets be honest, American Football is just an easier form of Rugby. They just took the forward playing rule away, added in a load of time wasting elements and made it easier and laughable. Oh yeah, i can see the excitement now! The whole reason why Football hasn't taken off in America is because you are used to things being fast and easy, that look good. Football, Rugby, Cricket ... Baseball, Basketball and American Football. I would take the former any day. More skill, more concentration, more passion, less ego. You got Pele to come over when he was past it, you got Beckham over with a load of money. Because it still isn't huge, you think that there is something wrong with the game, but when you look at the rest of the World, you realise its a problem with America. The American game isn't that great to begin with, so what is Beckham going to do? He is one man, if you want the game to be better, then i guess you had better start understanding the game and stop pretending to know about Sports because you have watched a one day test match and because you blindingly 'watched' a football (the real football, not the prancy American exploited version). Without knowing it, you actually showed everyone what was the problem, with your "Americans don't like 0-0 or 1-1". You, and most other American 'Sport' fans, are in it for the score. Surely class and skill come before the scoreline? If football matches ended up 5 + goals for each team at every game, i wouldn't call that a great match, i would call it poor defending and goal keeping. That is what football is, defending as well as you can and attacking as well as you can, not just goals and that is what the majority of America will probably never understand. When you have a game of basketball and both teams come out with 100 points, what is the point in having defenders? Americans shout "D Up!" in the games, who are they shouting at? I mean, when they start to actually defend and stop points, the ironic thing is you would all probably moan that there aren't enough points! So, next time, before you put all of your arrogance into mocking a sports and its global audience, why don't you put your efforts into mocking yourself and your nation instead? It seems more logical to me. But, what do i know? I don't watch 'sports' with quarters and multiple adverts inbetween plays and doing nothing all the way through the game but still looking good to an unknowing audience, used to image and blind to actual skill and concentration. American sports only last because there are so many Americans. If you were less of a mass, like England, maybe they wouldn't have to please the masses by dumbing the mass down with glorified Rounders, an egotistical, pantomime reinactment of Rugby and Football. I'm surprised you didn't fall asleep whilst writing your article, i know i nearly did. Maybe you will fall asleep when reading mine? Not exciting enough, i'm just another one of those boring football fans. I can't know anything, not when you are there, with your superior sporting might and knowledge of what a sport is. Oh and your quite eloquent remark when you mocked the world for loving football and praised seemed to praise Americans for judging sport by score. Well done, i applaud you. You need all the praise you can get, when you are as dumb as you seem to be. I'm sure any American who actually understands football, would agree with me. Champions League Final 2008, or The Superbowl 2008?! World Cup 2008 or the NBA playoffs 2008?! You decide. English Premier League '07/'08 or MLS '07/'08?! You decide! Rant Over :)
European Championships 2008*
by Jon on May 25, 2008
Hey everyone, don't peg every American with this trash. I've watched the Prem for about 10 years, played since I was 4 (so 15 years) now over here and I love football (soccer). This guy just doesn't have the intelligence to NOT listen to the trash spilled out on ESPN day in and day out over soccer. Stop commenting on this and realize he's just being an idiot and don't stereotype Americans with this lot. Damn Sportingo for posting such mindless articles like this..
by Not Telling on May 25, 2008
Er... you guys do realise that he was just kidding with the commentary on the rest of the world...
by Fah Q on May 25, 2008
and I suppose baseball is the world's most entertaining sport... baseball is so delightfully boring, they have something called "the 7th inning stretch" specifically to keep the entire stadium from falling asleep... you would be hard pressed to kind anyone in moscow that night that needed a stretch... nice "national passtime" buddy.
by Toby Martinez on May 25, 2008
Come on, guys, this fella is just baiting you and you're all falling for it. Don't take it so personally just because someone's given his reasons for finding football a yawn. I love football and I love psychedelic music too, and I still can't understand why my girlfriend pulls faces whenever I watch United (the most beautiful team on the planet) or listen to Van Der Graaf Generator or King Crimson. It's horses for courses. Yes, I too find American football to be faintly absurd, but I guess it's the culture you grow up with, and wouldn't it be sad if football was the only sport on the planet? We must forgive this chap for his lack of awareness, congratulate him on his ability to bait you lot of turnip-heads who fell for it hook, line and sinker, and embrace the many joys of various different sports. Amen to that.
by Paddy Prendergast on May 25, 2008
This journalist has not got a clue about sport. To claim that soccer is more boring than all of those tiresome American affairs is simply ludicrous. He shoud be sacked!
by T W on May 25, 2008
Have to go along with T Martinez here. Y'all took this a little too personally. Fact is that while soccer has grown immensely in the US amongst young people - and they are even exporting some players to some pretty good leagues - it hasn't caught on commercially and its popularity remains mired in the suburbs of America. C'mon guys, get with it: soccer is not viable in America in its current format. Like it or not, TV is the name of the game, and American ONLY has commercial TV, with its horrible commercials and everything. Sorry, but it's a huge weakness of the game that it continues to fail to attract the bulk of the most important economic power in the world. EVERY other sport has changed in order to meet commercial demands: that would include cricket (what are one-days if not a response to TV; and the new league in India?), rugby, the Tour de France, NBA (y'all just ignore its popularity in China - a country slightly bigger than all of Europe; 20% of the NBA is now from outside the US, including 46 players from Europe - I'm betting that by 2012 the NBA is in Europe, trust me), MLB (hello Japan!) and your hated NFL (was that just me, or was Wembley sold out?). Soccer needs to make some adjustments to commerical realities. How about 4 quarters? How about a penalty box a la hockey? You foul - you get 2 minutes outside and the other team goes into power play mode. And get some more referees on the field - I have tremendous respect for their physical fitness, but it's ridiculous that these guys are doing nearly the equivalent of half-marathons out there every game. They get tired and when you get tired, you can't possibly make all the right calls. And put the game clock in front of everyone where they can see it. And most importantly: tell those players to have some respect for the game - they constantly go after each other's legs with the potential for detroying a career every time they whip into somebody (how about starting with arresting Carlos Tevez for assault and battery?). You don't see that crap in basketball or even football, as brutal as it is: there are unwritten rules of behavior between the players and they are followed almost to the letter, because the players have respect for each other and their right to earn a good living out there. I'm not saying my ideas are right or wonderful, but soccer has tried almost NOTHING to make the game more attractive (except play around with the offside rule, or the rule regarding kicking the ball back to the goalie - big deal). As to subtlety - Americans don't do subtle. They do in your face, and they want success, which is not defined by a "wonderful 0-0 tie". Get real y'all before you suddenly find yourself being overtaken by a lot of other sports that have adjusted to modern commercial realities. Cheers!
by u khan on May 26, 2008
whats all this about how can you fall asleep in football? This is lame and someone was bored when writing this, totally useless and a shame to sportingo.com who published this. UNBELIEVABLE!
by Donal on May 29, 2008
T W, your philosophy in life amounts to prostitution. Are you seriously suggesting that football should make sweeping, fundamental changes to its traditions just to please Americans according to "commercial realities"? Do you have any idea how xenophobic and joylessly capitalist that sounds? Listen, there is a lot to admire about the United States, and seeing as it was formed as a composite of people from all the other nations of the world we all have a stake in it to some extent. But trust me, the football fans of the world don't care how popular their sport is in the US. There is enough people who love it, who are competing and contributing talent, to ignore the one nation who insists on staging its own "World Championships" with sports that no other nations compete in. Also, we recognise that if the US did suddenly take an interest in football it would try its hardest to make ridiculous changes to the game's form just like the ones your suggesting. We'd rather you just stay away. I find it bizarre that you think the football-loving people of the world care more about their sport's popularity in the US than they do about their sport. Get it in to your head: We. Love. It. I know that's hard for you to visualize and form thoughts around. Let's imagine China takes over as the "most important economic power in the world" in the next century, would it be a weakness of the NFL if they refused to make changes like changing the shape of the field, altering the points system, introducing tacked-on power-mode periods and so on, just to please the Chinese market? If you believe yes then I refer you to my opening statement.
Add your comment here
PERSONAL ABUSE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED
First Name
Last Name
Email
Heading
Display your favourite sport or football team badge with your comment.
Sport
League
Team
Comment *
Please enter the text you see in the picture into the textbox below. *
Owen's no gamble - Liverpool's former goal-den boy could be a Manchester United bargain
Galaxies apart: Why David Beckham is NOT the pride of Landon (Landon Donovan, that is)
TEN reasons why South Africa's Peter de Villiers is rugby union's greatest
Arsenal Champions League Chelsea Cricket news Euroleague Fantasy football Football news Formula 1 Liverpool Manchester United NBA Newcastle United Premier League Sports news Tottenham Hotspur Transfer rumours Twenty20 UEFA UEFA Champions League
© SportBuzz All rights reserved 2008 Sportingo- Sports News & Sports Articles site. Sportingo delivers fresh sports news and analysis by fans-Football News, Tennis News, Rugby Union News, Rugby League, Cricket News, Cycling News, Basketball News and other Sports TV. XML Sitemap 2008.