Ladies and gentlemen - in the blue corner, a cocky, confident and conceited Londoner by the name of David Haye. In the red corner, a big, bruising Russian brickhouse by the name of Nikolai Valuev.

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In the whole history of boxing there have been few, if any, such contrasting characters in any weight division. The WBA heavyweight crown may have been billed, somewhat colourfully, as David v Goliath but the fight game has rarely seen anything so absurd and ludicrous.

The result, of course, was a points decision for the well-muscled and strapping Haye, but Valuev certainly conformed to no boxing stereotype whatsover. In fact, it is hard to remember a fighter quite as physically ill-suited to boxing as Valuev.

He was fat, slobbishly overweight, slovenly and a general affront to the great heavyweight tradition. In fact, there were times when this giant grizzly bear of a man was an accident waiting to happen.

Boxing has always been proud of its mighty, all-conquering heavyweights but the excessively portly Russian looked as if he'd literally eaten a mountain of pies.

In the old days, of course, a top boxer would acrobatically jump into the ring, strut around for a couple of minutes and then disdainfully eyeball his opponent as if he meant to kill him. The names are etched into the history books for a lifetime.

There were the three extravagant showmen - Muhammad Ali, George Foreman and Joe Frazier. From another era Rocky Marciano and Sonny Liston would threatened to hurt, disable and maim.

And last but not least, there were the battle-hardened Brits such as Our 'Enery Cooper, Brian London, Frank Bruno and the supremely moulded Lennox Lewis, while never forgetting the gloriously podgy Joe Bugner and Richard Dunn.

True, these were the kind of frightening and fearsome men you would simply do your utmost to avoid in a dark alley. But the gigantic Valuev almost had to be seen to be believed.

He would have us believe he had actually lost a couple of pounds before this farcical fist fight, but to judge by the folds of flabby flesh around his stomach, you were almost tempted to challenge the man to a game of darts.

Where on earth did international boxing find this pugilistic mammoth? He may be over seven feet tall and weigh a ton, but surely boxing will never see his likes again.

It could be said that this hairy sloth has brought shame and disgrace upon the good name of boxing. It may also be added that Valuev loves nothing better than a good old-fashioned breakfast of nails and iron filings.

But the undeniable fact is that Valuev will go down in the history of sport as possibly the most hideous and ill-proportioned sportsmen there ever has been.

In the past, Russia has brought us some of the finest and fittest of athletes. In 1972, Olga Korbut brought grace and wondrous agility to both her nation and gymnastics.

Now, though, Russia can only look on with withering contempt at a Russian boxer called Nikolai Valuev. Here was a man who should not have been allowed anywhere near a boxing ring, let alone to fight in one.

Perhaps he should have stayed at home, ordered several hundred pizzas and then finished off a dozen boxes of chocolates.

The truth is that in another Ashes-winning year for English cricket, British sport has shown itself to be in the rudest health.

David Haye, of course, is now British and WBA world heavyweight champion. Methinks it's time to raise a glass of champers.