I've been reluctant to write about the Ashes because of the absurd notion that it's the ultimate form of international cricket. But now I'm ready to really let rip.

A glance at what's going on in the current Ashes series and the ICC world rankings has set me off.

The ICC world rankings put England on 101 points, just above Pakistan (100) which I coincidently feel would be a lively match-up for fifth and sixth spot on the ICC ladder.

Then, way up at the top of the rankings, Australia have virtually tattooed 'numero uno' onto their rears for all below to wince at. And therein lies my present cricket-ranking conundrum.

Somewhere, something is amiss.

Looking beyond the hype (and flipside insult) of this showdown between first and fifth being 'the ultimate form of cricket', to me, the rankings are practically meaningless. Especially as Andrew Strauss's England side currently are pretty much creaming Australia in every department.

How can this happen in a contest between the teams ranked No.1 and No.5? How is it that the fifth-rated team make the rankings of the two teams actually seem inverted?

In the current Ashes series, you'd be forgiven for thinking England are the 'pole position' side and Australia wouldn't currently convince many that they weren't eternal basement dwellers like New Zealand!

In football, it would be something like Grimsby United 3 Manchester United 0. It just doesn't happen and neither does rugby feature Japan whipping the Springboks 53-0.

Minnows behave themselves in tennis, too, and you're unlikely to find Roger Federer getting a lesson from Fabricio Du Randt (currently the ATP's 189th seed).

England, in cricket, have made the rankings meaningless. Bangladesh could be whipping India tomorrow - and who knows where Australia actually belong in the natural order of cricketing nations?

Finding a fair rating system isn't easy. I've compared South Africa's performance to that of Ricky Ponting's Australia in England and then factored in their series win Down Under to revise my list.

My 'real' world cricket rankings are: 1 South Africa; 2 India; 3 England; 4 Australia; 5 Pakistan; 6 Sri Lanka; 7 New Zealand; 8 West Indies; 9 Bangladesh.