The first Test in Hamilton is shaping up nicely for an interesting finish - thanks to Ryan Sidebottom giving England a glimpse of an unlikely victory. And no thanks whatsoever to England's batsmen.

It’s a sad day when not one person in England’s batting line-up manages a strike rate as high as 38. It's an altogether sadder day when their two senior bowlers, Matthew Hoggard and Steve Harmison, are out-bowled by part-time off-spinner Kevin Pietersen.

After failing to bowl New Zealand out for under 470, England appeared to give up any hope of winning the match and set off at a snail’s pace, barely scraping past two an over at any point in their lacklustre first innings.

'Right now the world beaters of 2005 don’t seem to be capable of taking the fight to Old Codgerington’s OAPs XI'


Batting for a draw is excusable in the second innings, certainly once an initial run chase has failed or a huge second innings score has made a win unattainable. But this was not the second innings, it was the first, the innings in which an all-guns-blazing England side should have been looking to prove that they aren’t daunted by a large total – that the last two series were a blip and they’re more than ready to get back into their winning ways.

Right now, the world beaters of 2005 don’t seem to be capable of taking the fight to Old Codgerington's OAPs XI, never mind the Black Caps (whose recent troubles and series defeats must have made them look an easy target for the great England comeback of 2008).

Is it against the spirit of the game to play for a draw from (almost) the outset of a game? Is it against the spirit of the game to give up on the possibility of even trying for a win so early in a match? Or is discretion really the better part of valour?

One thing is for certain, conceding nearly 500 first innings' runs and launching a counter-attack of a paltry two runs an over is not a plan designed for victory. Or much at all, really.

By reducing New Zealand to 147 for eight in the second innings, Sidebottom (5 for 37 so far) has restored some semblence of pride, but the batting performance remains unforgiveable.

Speaking against the England players who joined the rebel ICL, newly-appointed chief selector Geoff Miller recently asked: “What’s wrong with England?”

Geoffrey, darling, right now that’s what we’d all like to know.