Don't like Ricky Ponting? Text ASHES05!

Those conniving Aussie cricketers are at it again, with a new form of cricket designed to intimidate opponents. The SMS (Sledging Messenger Service) is particularly worrying.

by Greg Smith on 02 April 2008

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"'The Aussies are to trade in their green-and-gold strip for a black-and-white zebra-stripe outfit based on San Quentin Prison circa 1930'"

Aussie cricketers are planning to rebrand international cricket as Australian Rules Cricket (ARC).

ARC will showcase the Australian dominance of the sport and is a total breakaway from the old-school dictates of the MCC and ineffective ICC.

With the IPL, ODIs and Twenty20 challenging Test cricket for a share of fans, the Aussies have come up with something new for the ballpark - ARC, or Test cricket with a bit of Aussie finesse.

The game's major features include Jerry Springer-like sledging with replays and a live broadcast daytime soap series called 'Judge 'n Jury', which delicately brings out the convict in Aussie players.

And Ricky Ponting's boys are to trade in their green-and-gold strip for a black-and-white zebra-stripe outfit based on San Quentin Prison circa 1930.

Viewers at home are to be drawn into the game with live voting. The third umpire is to be replaced with a premium number line 0891 GIVE-DA-FINGA, and batsmen will also benefit from televison quiz-show technology as seen on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with phone-a-friend options (that might be difficult for Matthew Hayden) to aggrieved batsmen.

The Aussie public will be able to manipulate fielding positions with live, real-time chats with Ponting and a new SMS (Sledging Messenger Service) will be providing the technology to permit spectators to sledge an opposing batsman.

The Aussie brains trust believes that ARC is the future of the cricket park and an effective knockout blow to IPL, BCCI, ICC and MCC (and of course CIA, FBI).

Cricket fans are unsure whether the Aussies are on the right track. But fools are often tolerated in April.

Comments (4)

by big ted on April 04, 2008

Was this from the same people who gave us the new South African supporters phone line. You know the one that you ring to find out what is happening within the South Africna Cricket Team. Try it - you dial 101010, or won nothing, won nothing, won nothing.

by Greg Smith on April 04, 2008

... he, he... dialed it and only got the BCCI, strange ? sure their number is 76 76 76 ?

by big ted on April 04, 2008

India, who knows what went wrong with them this time. South Africa must be playing well, but...................surely India can not be that bad! Although when they are bad, they are very, very bad

by Partha Rajagopal on April 06, 2008

There is nothing surprising about India's performance. Of late India's bowlers have been putting the opposition under pressure and the batsmen have collectively failed most of the time. But now our star bowlers are walking in crutches and those who came of it are still not in rhythm. A fully fit Zaheer Khan and Ishant Sharma would have made a lot of difference. The Proteas are lucky in that regard. But I will give them credit. And Kumble made a blunder by choosing to bat first in the second test. That was suicide. But we Indians are used to expecting the unexpected. Our team loses where they have all chances to win and wins where no one expects them to. But I can tell you this - India will never be world champions on a consistent basis. They can only humble world champions once in a while since no one expects anything from us when we play top teams.

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