It's the big talking point on thousands of internet forums and on national and international sports shows the world over. OK, maybe that's not entirely true, but it's still a topic worthy of discussion. If the world suddenly went insane and a bunch of Americans were somehow put into the FIFA hotseat, how would it affect the world's most popular game? I've given each idea a rating out of 10 on its chances of being successfully introduced to world football.

1. Rolling substitutions: Let's face it, not a bad idea. It's not particularly controversial and it works fine in other sports. Football is a squad game nowadays, so why not take that to its logical conclusion? Plus, it would mean the pampered little prima donnas get to have a rest when they're looking a bit tired, which should suit them down to the ground. Chance of success - 9/10

2. The sin bin: Too many fouls? Ten minutes in the bin. Talking back to the ref? Ten minutes in the bin. Terrible haircut? You guessed it - ten minutes in the bin. Plus, if two players from opposing teams were both sent to the bin, make them sit next to each other for a bit of added fun. I can't see why we shouldn't start using this idea now. Chance of success - 9/10

3. Four quarters: They do love their quarters in America, mainly because more breaks in play means more time for adverts - which is why the NFL is so loved by the big TV networks. On second thoughts, even 22-and-a-half minutes is a bit too long to wait for their advertising fix - maybe nine tenths would be a better bet than four quarters. Unfortunately, as horrible as that sounds, all the extra adverts would mean a lot more revenue and, as we all know, money talks. Chance of success - 6/10

4. Cheerleaders: Surely a pre-requisite for any sporting event in the US of A. I mean, where would the average American spectator be without a bevy of scantily-clad beauties to gawp at pre-game? This one's a no-brainer. Chance of success - 10/10

5. Hollywood endings: Just like the film industry, soccer in America is crammed full of the biggest names on the planet. Who hasn't heard of David Beckham and... er... Darren Huckerby? And so, just like the film industry, what could be better than a good old-fashioned Hollywood ending to games? Under new rules it would be mandatory for the hero (they can draw straws at the start of the game to decide who this is) to leap like a salmon - in super slo-mo, of course - perfect hair and teeth glinting in the scorching afternoon sun, and head a last-gasp free-kick into the top corner. He runs to the side of the pitch, sweeps up the impossibly beautiful girl in his arms, and kisses her passionately. Cue Aerosmith crooning ''I Don't Want To Miss A Thing'' in the background while his team-mates high-five each other. Then comes the twist, when you find out he's actually a ghost and has been dead for the entire game. Or something. Chance of success - 1/10

6. Tasers for refs: As any self-respecting American citizen knows, people who enforce the law need to be armed to the teeth. However, as handguns might be considered slightly over the top for punishing a sportsman who, for example, talks back to the referee, a taser gun is probably a good compromise. Would surely earn the ''men in black'' a bit of respect. Plus, how funny would it be to watch a player wet his pants in front of 50,000 people? Chance of success - 3/10

7. Body armour: I don't think it's classed as a real sport in America unless the players are covered from head to toe in padding so soccer stars will be forced to follow suit - literally - by wearing so much body armour that they can't run properly. Shouldn't be a problem for Becks - he hasn't been able to beat a man for pace in about, oooh, let's see - 15 years? Chance of success - 6/10

8. Fights: That's right, actual fighting. Soccer should take a leaf out of the NHL's book and actively encourage players to take off their ridiculous helmets and steel-reinforced gloves, square up to each other and go at it with their fists. Until they get tired and need a rest. Come on, we all know it's the best bit in any hockey game, and anything that's good entertainment will surely get the thumbs-up. Chance of success - 7/10