Former professional footballers have a somewhat difficult decision to make when they retire. What to do? Where can one get the same thrill and excitement that has become the norm every Saturday for their last 15 or 20 years?

Managing is an option, and nowadays, so is punditry. No-one quite wears a grey suit like Jamie Redknapp. But how about another option, an option often dismissed because presumably it is beneath players, because it is unnecessary, and because the players themselves don’t want the pressure and criticism that comes with the job.

I’m talking about becoming a referee. Constant problems befall our poor referees week in week out, prompting us to suggest that they are replaced with goal-line technology, and any number of computer aids.

Yet there is a simpler solution, by making established, respected professionals into the referees in charge of our humble sport. Here are my top ten candidates; managers, you are not exempt, as you could have been a referee in the first place.

1. Ryan Giggs

A 10-times Premier League champion. Two Champions Leagues. Four FA cups. Two league cups. Seven Community Shields. The only player to have scored in every Premier League campaign since its inception. The only player to have scored in 12 consecutive Champions League tournaments. It’s a decent CV, and I’m sure it would get him a job in Sports Soccer. But I suggest that the model professional and consummate gentleman that is Ryan Joseph Giggs, OBE, would make one hell of a ref. Well respected, well liked, and what wouldn’t this guy know about football?

2. Thierry Henry

"Ref! Ref! Penalty, ref!’ . . . Simply retaliate with a trademark Henry shrug of the shoulders, bewildered scrunch of the forehead, and butter-wouldn’t-melt eyes. No penalty. Sorted.

3. Alan Shearer

We know the Match Of The Day sofa is comfy, Alan; we can see that every Saturday night when you’re hob-nobbing with Hansen, so it doesn’t take you constantly opting out of any managerial or authoritative position that someone throws at you at your beloved Newcastle for us to get the impression that you don’t want to leave yet. But you have to be manager some day, Al’, you know you do, so why not ease yourself back into the thriving football world with a bit of the ol’ refereeing. I wouldn’t argue with him, would you?

4. Ruel Fox

Why not? He can’t be doing much else, surely.

5. Diego Maradona

Diego is manager of Argentina’s national team. His previous managerial attempts at Textil Mandiyú and Racing Club could best be described as ‘average’. He has been involved in numerous drug scandals, and was quite addicted to cocaine. In 2004, he had a heart attack, and three years later was readmitted to hospital and treated for hepatitis and the effects of alcohol abuse.

But hey, it’s Maradona! So why not give him a ridiculously important job he’s not qualified for? I’m sure he knows nothing about refereeing, which, therefore, somehow, makes him a perfect candidate.

6. Roy Keane

After throwing his toys out of the pram and resigning from Sunderland, a certain Mr Keane is out of a job. First and foremost, reiterating the Shearer point, you’re not going to argue with a man who ends a player’s career like some sort of undercover two-footed tackling assassin. Also, if he thinks he’s a bad manager, I’ll tell him for free that he lacks the likeability, temper and fun factor to be a pundit, so he can cross that off his job list too. Refereeing, Roy. You’ve got the experience, you’ve got the passion, and you’re mental. That already makes you about six up on Maradona.

7. Robbie Fowler

Hanging around at Blackburn like a dog that has lost its owner, surely Robbie has got to be thinking of retirement soon. He clearly still wants to be part of the footballing set-up, so why not have him as referee, and drag Steve McManaman and John Barnes out of punditry to run the lines in an all Liverpool system?

8. Joey Barton

Right, let’s be honest. No-one really wants him on a football pitch any more, but if we do have to look at his smug, law dodging, Nile-out-of-Hollyoaks-lookalike face, at least let it be at the butt of everyone’s aggression. By now, Barton must know a thing or too about rules, what you can and can’t do, and how to punish someone when they do something wrong. So tone it down a little bit, Joey, take a step back, we’ll give you some coloured cards to play with, and you can give it a go.

9. Guillem Balague

OK, he’s never played football, or managed. But this man knows everything. He’s like the oracle. Our British newspapers come into a fluster in the transfer window panicking about Ronaldinho or Samuel Eto’s transfer destinations with clueless disorganisation. Guillem not only knows what’s going on, but I’m sure could calmly tell you what each player has had for breakfast, dinner and tea since they were three years old. He’d blow the whistle for the decision before it even happened - an exemplary candidate.

10. Arsene Wenger

"I did not see it." Yeah, that’s great Arsene. But 70,000 people at Old Trafford did, and I don’t think William Gallas is going to take the stick for this one.