Well, it looks like the Beckhams' LA love affair is well and truly over.

Methinks the dumb marketable one has well passed his sell-by date in the United States after his lunatic display during the Galaxy's latest game.

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The England wannabe stupidly reacted to the fans' justified barracking of their errant £120m signing by verbally blasting them back and challenging them to a touchline confrontation.

Who do you think you are, Becks - Eric Cantona? Not a chance. You haven't got the balls, pal, for one thing. Your missus has them firmly in her scrawny mitts.

Or was the wanton display of empty-headedness just a not-so-subtle ploy to work your ticket out of there and get back to trying to make the World Cup next summer?

Never mind, there could be an escape route back to the Premier League. Your old club Manchester United have started up a special geriatrics section that you would fit into ideally.

Michael Owen, Gary Neville, Owen Hargreaves and you. If you hurry up and make your mind up, you just might make the friendly against the local Darby and Joan club.

You could always get Posh and Max Clifford to turn it all into a film and sell the rights to ESPN - that's Extra Special Puerile Numpties!

Sorry, Becks, your number's up in more ways than one, pal. Why don't you retire gracefully to a rest home in Essex before you go the way of all "superstars" and disappear up your own backside at a rate of knots?