England has two famous McClarens (albeit spelt differently) but only one is a winner -- and it's not the one in football. When Steve McClaren was named manager of the national football team, the world was united in one voice, one spirit and one mind when everyone said: "Eh? You what? No! Really?"

McClaren has always been Mr. Mediocre -- never good enough to take over at Manchester United, never good enough to keep Middlesbrough in the top half of the table, certainly never good enough for England. What the FA were thinking we can only speculate but "who will do everything we say and not make waves" springs quickly to mind.

Another contender was Luis Felipe Scolari who, when he realised what a dog show the whole thing is, stepped quickly back with a great big "Não!" If you want an Englishman, the best record on minimal resources or, in accounting terms, best return on capital employed, you go for Alan Curbishley for his years at Charlton or Sam Allardyce, a man who has done wonders at Bolton.

'We have, in these times, a leader who is a John Major rather than a Winston Churchill. A Neville Chamberlain instead of a Margaret Thatcher'


Why did Sam not get the job? The hat was firmly in the ring. He is known for dealing well with 'troublesome' players and former big names. Good at keeping them in line. He has a no- nonsense attitude and speaks his mind. One cannot help but think that, for the English FA, the last bit was the breaker.

"No scandals here!" they utter, whilst sweeping anything untoward under the lumpiest carpet in the UK. A carpet that makes those in the financial districts of London and New York look like the flat open savannah of Utah or Argentina.

The interests of the national team were never foremost when the FA's man for the job was put in charge; there was something else afoot entirely. There are 100 managers worldwide better than McClaren, including Sven-Goran Eriksson who, quite frankly, turned out to be both useless and dull.

My hope, an only hope, for McClaren was that in the absence of talent he would go for it in a blaze of glory. I thought that with nothing to lose, he might throw caution to the wind, tweak the nipples of fear and run headlong into the jaws of attacking football. Not, alas, to be. We have, in these times, a leader who is a John Major rather than a Winston Churchill. A Neville Chamberlain instead of a Margaret Thatcher.

You need a winner and a fighter as manager of England. In McClaren, you have neither. By replacing Eriksson with McClaren the national team have gone from dull, unimaginative football with a famous hairdo to dull, unimaginative football without a famous hairdo. As a fan, I would rather watch the disastrous charge of a Kevin Keegan light brigade causing a 3-1 loss to England than the 0-0 rubbish being served.

If I want to sleep, I can take a pill. Football, my first love, should not be the cause. Anything is better than this. Next time I think I'll watch a programme on bass fishing instead. Perhaps I will stay awake. spurs.wordpress.com

Should Sam Allardyce have been given the England job reather than McClaren? Let Sportingo have your views.