Two seasons ago, mention the name 'Roy Keane' to anyone outside Manchester United and they would tell you that they were in the queue (led by Alf Inge Haaland) waiting to thump the man to kingdom come. Now I'll bet everyone - including Haaland himself - can't wait for his return.

From out of nowhere, Sunderland are back in the Premiership and causing sleepless nights to top-flight managers. Even the best of them, like Rafa Benitez and Arsene Wenger, couldn’t get a handle on Keane as a player, even though Arsene probably got closest. But I’m sure Arsene knows that when they play Sunderland, his youngsters will be facing a collective 11 Keanos on the pitch. For teams that rely on slick passing and pretty play, that has to be a nightmare ten times worse than facing Bolton.

As for Chelsea, think hard-as-nails Keano versus Jose’s smugness and arrogance. More likely than not, the spectacle will be on the sidelines where Keano’s stare alone will send Mourinho scampering down the tunnel for cover – something he threatened to do from the MANUTV soapbox before Sir Alex banished him.

'Would anyone seriously think Barton would misbehave in front of Keane? Keano would be Emperor to Joey's Darth Vader'


Speaking of Sir Alex, Keano versus his mentor has got to be a story all by itself. For different reasons, both will want each other’s blood, except you feel Keano will literally go out and get it.

Every football follower who has witnessed Sunderland’s rise has no doubt that under Keane’s stewardship, the Black Cats will cause an upset or two against any of the big clubs. But one-off results aside, Keano must know his Sunderland outfit will need a near total overhaul if they are to be competitive in the Premiership over the long term.

Even though Roy has said he is happy with what he has, no one would dare think him so naïve as to believe it. He and owner Niall Quinn would need no reminding that better Sunderland teams boasting quality like Kevin Kilbane, Michael Gray, Michael Bridge, Thomas Sorensen and Kevin Phillips all failed to sustain a Premiership place.

For the present Sunderland team, John Evans will return to Old Trafford, and the revitalised Nyron Nosworthy may not be able to counter the average Premiership striker. As for firepower, despite the fact that David Connolly and Daryl Murphy are both international strikers, I doubt they will make an impact against the likes of John Terry or Rio Ferdinand or most Premiership defenders. Neither would Anthony Stokes, Stern John or the now geriatric Dwight Yorke.

So, armed with TV money and a transfer kitty said to be close to £25m, who would Keane need to bring in to make his Sunderland team competitive?

Top of the list would be Joey Barton. Built in the Keano mould, he would certainly be a useful addition to galvanise a Sunderland midfield against the rigours of Premiership football. He has already done so to an under-whelming Manchester City midfield. Maybe he can lift an over-achieving Sunderland midfield to greater heights. As for Joey's suspect discipline, would anyone seriously think he would misbehave in front of Keane? It's like father and son, or mentor and student, Jedi Master to Jedi apprentice. Wait…maybe that’s a bad example, but Keano would be Emperor to Joey's Darth Vader.

Next on the list would be a sounder keeper, and in this respect, Keano may want to look at Paddy Kenny. Paddy is one of the better keepers in the top flight, which was not borne out by Sheffield United’s woeful defence.

At centre-half, replacing Evans, hopeful as it may sound, Curtis Davis may be suitable target. There is no doubting the pedigree of Davis, but the fact that he is being chased by a multitude of top clubs may put him out of reach. Other competent defenders who may be persuaded to move to Sunderland would be Sami Hyypia or Philippe Senderos, both of whom will find it hard to get regular football at their present clubs. Hyypia has the experience Sunderland needs and Senderos has the quality, if not the consistency. Keano would certainly address that.

In attack, David Nugent, whose club failed to get a promotion play-off place, may be beckoning. Although he is courted by a host of top clubs, Premiership clubs may not want to gamble on an unproven striker. With goals a necessity for success, most will splash out for proven material - which means Nugent would need a break to prove he is Premiership credentials. Sunderland may be that break.

Auxiliary players that may capture Keano’s attention are Keith Gillespie, Matt Holland, Lee Bowyer and Rob Earnshaw.

All of the above assumes Keane wouldn’t spend on reputation or put all his money on one star player, and that he wouldn’t look too far for foreign talents – whose commitment he has criticised in the past. Also, I assume that (no disrespect to Sunderland) no big names will be tempted to move to the Stadium of Light just yet. Of course in the latter respect, I’d love to be proven wrong. Ronaldo at Sunderland…bite on that, sir!