Apart from doodling on beermats, discussing the local talent, chucking a few aimless darts and trying to convince everybody daft enough to listen that today’s beer isn’t half as good as the stuff we used to drink as lads, you can guarantee that pub conversations will invariably switch to football before the night is out.

Tickets for the match on Saturday? Who should be dropped? Who shouldn’t? Who are they going to sign next? When is the manager going? Then, when you think you’ve solved all the club’s problems, somebody comes up with: ”Eh, who would you have in your best team of all time?” Settle down for a lock-in!

After reading the Sportingo article on Alan Sugar selling all his shares at Tottenham and the author’s idea of the club’s WORST team (to go alongside their worst chairman), I thought I’d attempt the impossible: Picking Manchester United’s greatest team of all time. Easy? Try it!

Trouble is that since my childhood recollections of United during the World War II years when they played at Maine Road because of air-raid damage to Old Trafford, the goalposts have been moved a few times. It’s doubtful if any sport on earth has undergone such explosive change.

Many will argue that some of the changes have not been for the better, but having witnessed the metamorphosis from 2-3-5 through 4-3-3 and 4-5-1 and  4-4-1-1 to 4-4-2, I have to say that the game today is faster and far more entertaining than it was in “the good old days".

But how do you put players like Johnny Carey, Duncan Edwards, Paddy Crerand, Jack Rowley, Eric Cantona, George Best, Bobby Charlton and Cristiano Ronaldo into the same team under any particular playing system or formation?

So I’ve gulped down a couple of Parecetamol and taken the easier option by picking three teams - starting with players from the 50s and 60s playing in the good old 2-3-5 formation. And I’m claiming a few substitutes - even though they were unheard of in those days. How about this line-up for starters?

Harry Gregg; Johnny Carey, Roger Byrne; Duncan Edwards, Jackie Blanchflower, Nobby Stiles; Jimmy Delaney, Jack Rowley, Tommy Taylor, Stan Pearson, Charlie Mitten. Subs:  Dennis Viollet, Bill Foulkes, Johnny Giles, Eddie Colman, David Pegg.

Now I’m claiming a spot of journalistic licence here because I wanted to produce a team to suit 4-3-3 from United players in the late 60s, 70s and early 80s. And remember this was a period when the Old Trafford management merry-go-round was in full swing; Sir Matt Busby, Wilf McGuinness, Frank O”Farrell, Tommy Docherty, Dave Sexton and Ron Atkinson were all at the helm at one time or another.

Anyway, how’s this for a 4-3-3 winner: Alex Stepney; Noel Cantwell, Gordon McQueen, Ian Ure, Tony Dunne; Paddy Crerand, Samy McIlroy, Martin Buchan; Bobby Charlton, Denis Law, George Best. Subs: Lou Macari, Willie Morgan, Brian Kidd, Stuart Pearson, Steve Coppell.

If you think that was tough, try the Sir Alex Ferguson era from 1986 through to the present day. Old Trafford, by now, is a stadium fit for kings, and that crown-like Premiership trophy has made its home there for nine years out of the last 14. But what about the players who have become legends, icons, millionaires even?!

Ferguson has shaped three great teams during his reign, and this is my very humble effort at trying to name but one in 4-4-2 formation:

Peter Schmeichel; Gary Neville, Steve Bruce, Jaap Stam, Dennis Irwin; David Beckham, Paul Scholes, Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs; Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney. And how about a few subs: Eric Cantona (tough call against Ronaldo), Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Bryan Robson, Andy Cole, Dwight Yorke, Ruud Van Nistelrooy.

I’m in trouble, get me out of here!