Are you ready? Then we shall begin.

West Ham, seemingly resigned to losing the legend that is Carlos Tevez, may ease their grief by swapping him with fellow Argentinian Javier Saviola, who is currently languishing on the bench at Barcelona. This would be quite a coup and given Saviola’s pedigree, Hammers fans would be more than happy to welcome him to Upton Park - providing his registration is not flawed!

Patrick Vieira has decided to stick his oar in regarding the whole Thierry Henry will-he, won’t-he fiasco. The former Arsenal bruiser has intimated that unless Arsene buys big, then Henry will fly the coup.

'Patrick Vieira has decided to stick his oar in regarding the whole Thierry Henry will-he, won’t-he fiasco. The former Arsenal bruiser has intimated that unless Arsene buys big, then Henry will fly the coup.'


Samuel Eto’o and Ludovic Giuly have also decided to get involved in the whole saga, leading many to believe that Thierry will be moving to Barcelona sometime soon.

Sunderland boss Roy Keane is said to be interested in Leighton Baines, Wigan’s walking cash register. However, Wigan want at least £6 million, which could scare the Black Cats away.

Portsmouth have supposedly put in a £10m bid for Aiyegbeni Yakubu, and Middlesbrough have said 'no, thank you', which appears wise as they presumably wouldn’t want to lose the second half of their striker force following nutty Mark Viduka’s move across to Newcastle United.

The oddest rumour today is the probable move by League Two Barnet to capture former England international midfielder Ray Parlour. Big-haired Parlour, freed by Hull City, may even be dreaming of emulating David Beckham and getting a phone call from Steve McClaren at the age of 34 . Don't hold your breath, Ray.

Another former international heading down the football pyramid is London-born Scottish keeper Neil Sullivan, who has moved from Leeds United to Doncaster Rovers. This movemay well keep him in the minds of the Scottish national team as they look to make it to Euro 2008. Beyond Craig Gordon, there isn’t exactly a barrage of competent keepers.

Aston Villa and Birmingham are embroiled in a tug of war over West Ham striker Marlon Harewood, which will no doubt lead to the big man getting a bucketful of abuse from whichever set of supporters do not call him their own come the new season. Good luck with that, Marlon.

Djibril Cisse, in case anyone had forgotten, is still a Liverpool player - but for how long? He would like to stay at Marseille but they can’t afford to make his move permanent at present so are hoping to keep him on loan for another season. Should this request not be accepted by Liverpool, then apparently Bolton are sniffing around - no doubt to add to their ever increasing list of strikers like El-Hadji Diouf and Nicolas Anelka who have at one time or another played for the Reds.