Okey-dokey, another day and another set of seemingly implausible moves to ponder the validity of. Let’s start with Liverpool.

Apparently Rafa Benitez is about to use a large portion of his takeover war-chest on Atletico Madrid’s Fernando Torres (just about every tabloid in Europe is reporting this one). The sum of £30 million has been mentioned. Torres is no doubt a great talent but this story has been doing the rounds for so long that it's bound to be an anti-climax when/if it arrives. Unless, of course, he scores 50-plus Premiership goals and leads the Reds to the title - in which case it will be money well spent.

£30m might be too much spend on Diego Forlan (just ask Man United fans); however, it seems that Rafa is also after the Uruguayan (tribalfootball.com). Mr Forlan is a different prospect from the one who limped through his career at Old Trafford, scoring once every solar eclipse and becoming a cult-hero simply because he couldn’t score a goal (John Jensen, anyone?). There are rumours that the Diego Forlan at Villarreal is so much better than the one at United that scientists are currently carrying out tests on strands of his hair as he may be the result of a successful cloning experiment.

'There are rumours that the Diego Forlan at Villarreal is so much better than the one at United that scientists are currently carrying out tests on strands of his hair as he may be the result of a successful cloning experiment.'


Man United are apparently to let Gabriel Heinze leave for Real Madrid (Daily Star) as his place in the starting line-up has been given on the most part to Patrice Evra. This move would seem to suit all parties as it appears that United could live without the full-back with the demented smile.

Underwear model Freddie Ljungberg apparently wants to fight for his Arsenal place (He’s a footballer? Who knew?). About to enter his tenth season at the club, he is desperate to get himself noticed by Arsene Wenger, who has hitherto looked to the youngsters to fill his role. Don’t give up the day job, Freddie!

Wigan are stepping up their bid for West Brom’s Welsh wonder Jason Koumas (The Times) The figure of £5m has been floated, which seems a fair price and I guess Tony Mowbray will have to figure out if the cash can be invested wisely or whether Koumas is too integral to the Baggies' promotion hopes.

Tottenham are set to lose their least-prized striker, Mido, to Fulham (from here to Timbuktu). It's a move that will result no doubt in Fulham storming up the Premiership, defying all odds and capturing the title…or maybe not, probably just a pleasing 14th-placed finish next term!

Spurs are reported to be looking into Kieron Dyer’s situation at Newcastle with a view to adding another quality player to their ranks (tribalfootball.com). Dyer is a player who impresses one week and is anonymous the next. Rumours that Spurs may make a move for his best-mate Lee Bowyer (whatever happened to him?) in order to cement the deal are unfounded.