Carlos Tevez is again the main focus of rumours today. Real Madrid have stuck their nose into the trough and are apparently marginally ahead of Manchester United in the race to sign the Argentinian (Daily Express). Should Tevez break West Ham hearts and not hang around in East London I predict a move to the continent as far more likely than remaining in the Premiership. So if Tevez is going to leave England then I rate 8/10 that he will join up with managerless Madrid.

According to The People, Arsene Wenger is attempting to put the smiles back on Arsenal fans faces by lining up a £20m bid for Barcelona star Samuel Eto’o. This source claims that the in fighting between Ronaldinho, Eto’o and Frank Rijkaard are a motivating factor for the Cameroonian’s departure. However it is also claimed that Eto’o would be looking for an increase to his £120,000-a-week wages, which begs the question: How much money can these footballers need? and: What are they spending all of this cash on? I feel confident that Eto’o will not be joining Arsenal, although if he did I am sure he would be a huge success. 2/10 Eto’o to Arsenal

Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce is rubbishing claims that Kieran Dyer may be on his way to Spurs (The People) by stating, well, that the story is ‘rubbish’. There is no smoke without fire (yes another cliché) and for some reason I have a sixth sense (although I do not see dead people) on these matters and I think that Dyer may be leaving Newcastle sooner rather than later. Again this is not based on scientific fact, more a hunch. 8/10 Dyer not to be at St James’ Park come the end of August.

Walter Smith is in the process of bridging the gap to local rivals Celtic and that usually requires shelling out cash on as good a quality player as the SPL can entice. Celtic managed to pull of a big coup when the snared AC Milan midfielder Massimo Donati and now Rangers are keen to pick up who they can in order to bolster their squad. To this end they are looking to capture Osasuna defender Carlos Javier Cuéllar (Daily Record) other sources suggest that Nacho Novo may be used as a make-weight for this transfer. 8/10

Talking of the Old Firm, Celtic are one of a host of clubs keen on Dutch Under-21 star Marco Rigters who made a big splash as Holland won the European Under-21 championships last month. Among those said to be monitoring the situation are Blackburn and Newcastle (Daily Mirror) as well as Gordon Strachan’s Celtic (Daily Record). The fee suggested is incredibly small in today’s market and a figure of half a million could be enough to secure his services. Now for the science part, 6/10 Blackburn., 6/10 Newcastle, and 9/10 Celtic. Never underestimate the lure of both guaranteed first team football and the Champions League.

Chelsea fans will probably be glad to hear that woeful excuse of a defender Khalid Boulahrouz (who, by they way, makes Robert Huth look like Bobby Moore!) may be on his way to Sevilla (The Sun). The UEFA cup holders are looking to waste £3.5m on the Dutch international so that will go some way to recoup the £7m that Chelsea invested in the accident-prone, injury-ridden donkey. 10/10 Khalid will not be at the Bridge in a matter of weeks.

Some abridged rumours for all of you who managed to make it this far down the page (well done you), with the added incentive of a one word summation.

Craig Bellamy to West Ham (The Guardian), why? 5/10.
Ben Sahar loan deal to Charlton (tribalfootball.com), intelligent 9/10.
Wolves, Wigan and Fulham after David Healy (tribalfootball.com), class 8/10.
Teddy Sherringham to join Colchester (tribalfootball.com), no 2/10
Kaka to Real Madrid (AS), likely 9/10