When it rains it pours. Barely days after their local derby exploits, poor old Spurs have been given another kick in the privates - this time by old favourite Jurgen Klinsmann. The German maestro says he is not interested in managing Tottenham because they are too small and he wants to take charge at a Champions League club (Daily Express).

If Klinsmann really said what is reported I would be shocked as he has a great deal of respect for the club following his elevation to cult-hero following his spells at White Hart Lane. The ‘Kaiser’ has been linked with the apparently soon-to-be-vacant post in north London, and whilst he would be a worthy successor to Martin Jol (who shouldn’t be sacked if you ask me), the former super-striker has repeatedly said he is happy in California and not interested in managing overseas. Mind you, maybe he would make an exception for a chance to return to Tottenham, who knows?

Should Jol still be in charge for a few more weeks then Nigerian teenage star Macauley Chrisantus could be the subject of a bid in the region of £1.5m. The Abuja FC striker was top scorer at the Under-17 World Cup in South Korea and is also attracting the attention of Liverpool and Real Madrid (The Sun). Arsenal are also said to be tracking the well-built frontman (various).

Jol is apparently toying with opening the bidding at £1m, which puts Spurs ahead of the other two giants at present. The showpiece event came to an end in Seoul last week and has brought Chrisantus to the attention of teams from all over the world keen to pick up bargains. It is very much a shop window for  clubs across Europe but any purchases will be something of a risk given the relatively untried nature of the players on show. I know very little about the player, who only turned 17 a few weeks ago. But an added bonus is that as Chrisantus is not under contract he can be purchased before the transfer window reopens in January.

'An added bonus is that as Chrisantus is not under contract he can be purchased before the transfer window reopens in January'

West Ham’s ginger defender James Collins says he wants to stay at the club. The Welsh international has been linked with a loan move to his old club Cardiff City but made his first league start of the season in the Hammers' 3-0 win over Middlesbrough on Saturday. Collins said: "I need to be in London and still training with the first team", which I guess makes sense. Collins is a dependable player who Alan Curbishley should stick with rather than pushing him out of the Upton Park picture.

Former Manchester United full-back Gabriel Heinze was so sure of his move to Liverpool that he celebrated by splashing out on a brand new £74,000 Porsche. But when the move went pear-shaped, Heinze, who eventually joined Real Madrid, was forced to sell the car back at a £7,000 loss (Daily Mail). Could he not have just shipped it over to Spain? I hear they have cars there, loads of them...

Eccentric Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov has come up with a hair-brained scheme that comes straight from the ‘mad-professor’ school of masterplans. He will buy a club shirt for every local seven-year-old to help boost support for the club. The Russian has also promised to buy them two tickets to a Tynecastle match this season (Daily Record). Rumours that Romanov is planning to purchase the whole of Scotland and move it to the middle of the Atlantic have not been confirmed.