So, Chelsea are on fire and the Special One is consigned to the dustbin of time, whiling the hours away with the kids and taking Gullit, the Special Mutt, for walks. Wrong!

Jose Mourinho has got his sights set on a job back in the Premier League – as soon as Rafa Benitez gets the boot at Anfield (Daily Star on Sunday). With Liverpool taking on the mantle of European Capital of Culture in 2008 and Ricky ‘My Arse’ Tomlinson otherwise engaged, surely there could be no more cultured ambassador for the city.

Nobody has yet told Benitez, though, because he is planning a £25million January transfer window spending spree (The People) even if Liverpool are knocked out of the Champions League. The way the US dollar is shrinking, he’ll be lucky to get 25 bob from the club’s Yankee owners.

'With Liverpool taking on the mantle of European Capital of Culture in 2008 and Ricky ‘My Arse’ Tomlinson otherwise engaged, surely there could be no more cultured ambassador for the city than Mounrinho?'


But a £10million windfall could be on the way if Rafa can unload lean, mean goal-machine Peter Crouch to Aston Villa. “I'd love to see him here because he's such a clever player," says Villa wide man Ashley Young, who looked up to Crouchy during their recent spells with England.

Young may find himself surplus to requirements when Steve McClaren announces his next national squad on Friday because old globe-trotting Goldenballs is set to return.

Becks was ready to wring Posh’s neck if he had to listen to Wannabe one more time. But now he’s been spared any more Spice Girls reunion rehearsals after Macca flew over to LA yesterday to tell him he’ll win his 98th cap in the friendly against Austria in Vienna on November 16 (Sunday Times).