There are times in a football manager’s life when it all becomes all too much. For Derby boss Billy Davies, even knitting would seem to be an appealing alternative to football management right now.

Newly promoted to the Premier League, Derby County must be wishing they hadn’t bothered. Massacred by Liverpool 6-0, overwhelmed by Arsenal 5-0, Derby are quite clearly out of their depth. If the season goes on like this then Derby may need the psychiatrist’s couch.

After their appalling 5-0 surrender to West Ham at Pride Park, Davies must be contemplating the sack. If there are a bottle of pills near his bedside then this is the time not to take them. Davies is no quitter but he has to wonder where Derby’s next goal is coming from.

'Davies is no quitter but he has to wonder where Derby’s next goal is coming from'


You don’t need a degree in quantum physics to see that Derby are in trouble. Nowadays teams promoted from the Championship always seem to face the traditional uphill task to stay in the Premier League.

For Derby though, who once slipped into the third tier of the Football League the return to the top flight is not a picnic. In fact their first taste of Premier League football has been more of a soggy cheese sandwich rather than a bottle of champers.

Rock bottom of the Premier League Derby are a pathetic, forlorn sight without a friend in the world. Having now shipped 31 goals, they are already staring relegation in the face.

Sadly, Derby haven’t made the transition from the Championship to the Premier League. This is rather like asking an apprentice mechanic to change Lewis Hamilton’s tyres.

It’s all very well taking the likes of Scunthorpe and Preston to the cleaners. But Manchester United and Arsenal carry a rather more testing challenge. In fact chalk and cheese come almost immediately to mind. Derby have found out the hard way.

Even at this early stage of the season mathematics are beginning to gang up on Derby. Propping up the Premier League with a meagre six points Derby are a defensive shambles, a midfield muddle and completely lacking in any semblance of an attack.

Last season, Giles Barnes was Derby’s new young attacking sensation. This season Barnes is rather like a blunt pencil. Kenny Miller, who was a force to be reckoned with at Wolves has faded into the woodwork and Eddie Lewis was an American winger with dash and flash.

Two goals though, from that bundle of fun, Lee Bowyer, a Peruvian free-kick special from Nobby Solano and one each from Matthew Etherington and Jonathan Spector gave West Ham their biggest away victory for some time. Derby could only admire from a distance.

West Ham are still a patchwork quilt of a side searching for the right fabrics. They sit comfortably in mid-table minding their own business. Without Scott Parker, Freddie Ljunberg and the effervescent Mark Noble they remind you of an old steam train in need of more coal.

As for Derby County, the future road is not paved with gold. They’re back at the drawing board and everything looks blurred and bleak. The Rams will need more than a week’s break from the Premier League, and a health farm looks the only option.

The Pride Park club are in urgent need of rehabilitation and paint balling in a forest may be the only answer. You can be sure that Billy Davies will not be throwing in the proverbial towel. Scotsmen rarely do.

What does Billy Davies have to do to get Derby out of trouble? And don't say resign! Post your comments below or submit an article to Sportingo.