This is it, then. The Last Waltz. High Noon. Armageddon. And we are helpless to do anything about it. The immediate fate of English football lies in the hands of Israel and Macedonia. It will now take a miracle of the proportions of Moses parting the Red Sea for England to reach Euro 2008. Don't bet on it happening.

Chances are it will all be over even before a ball is kicked against Croatia next week. In which case, expect to witness the nearest thing we have had to a public execution since highwaymen and sheep shaggers were strung up at Tyburn Tree.

It promises to be a fitting farewell for the so-called Golden Generation, who have delivered so little and, quite frankly, were never half as good as the hype suggested. A Wembley full house is unlikely to be forgiving of a side who will have failed so miserably to get us out of one of the weakest of the Euro 2008 qualifying groups.

'A Wembley full house is unlikely to be forgiving of a side who will have failed so miserably to get us out of one of the weakest of the Euro 2008 qualifying groups'


I don’t go along with the popular conception that it's Steve McClaren who should be hung, drawn and quartered for the national team’s abject failure. Old tart Malcolm McLaren could have won Group E if David Beckham, Michael Owen, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and the Coles and Co were half as good as their publicity and wage packets implied.

They should all bow their heads in shame when the national anthem rings out at Wembley. I wonder how many of our heroes might conveniently ‘pull a hammy’ before Wednesday. But as his last act, Steve McClown, or McDonut, or whatever you want to call him, should make sure they are all out there to face the music – on crutches if necessary.

As there is hardly any point in playing a ‘dead rubber’ against the Croatians, they should all be lined up in the goalmouth and have rotten tomatoes chucked at them as some kind of payback for all the years of heartbreak.

It has been quite pitiful this week to see them queuing up to pledge their undying love and devotion for McClaren .  “Losing him would be a huge blow,” said a fawning Owen. Gerrard, Beckham, Joe Cole and even the terminally incompetent Paul Robinson have also rushed to support their boss. Well, Robbo, the bad news is that for all the simpering sycophancy, Macca is dead meat. And it’s your fault.

Come Thursday morning, the FA will be rooting around for a new manager and for a few ‘prestige’ friendlies to fill the void left by failing to make next summer’s finals in Austria and Switzerland.

Just to rub it in, a Scotland side with none of the resources of England and not a single player you could call a star in the Gerrard or Owen mould could be packing their bags for Euro 2008.

England’s Golden Generation have turned out to be fool’s gold. Consign them to the dustbin of football history along with their boss.