Wenger's Arsenal crisis; Sheva's Chelsea blast; Mourinho's £4m challenge; Middlesbrough's window pain

For legal reasons – and because we love him and all his twitching to bits – we won’t dwell on Portsmouth manager Harry Redknapp’s current run-in with the plod that’s all over the front and back pages. But mild-mannered Arsene Wenger is another boss in the brown stuff today.

'As someone fluent in 400 languages, you’d have thought Wenger might have been able to find one expletive that the Belgian official couldn’t understand'

The Arsenal gaffer lost his rag with referee Eric Braamhar during Tuesday’s 3-1 defeat at Sevilla. As someone fluent in 400 languages, you’d have thought Wenger might have been able to find one expletive that the Belgian official couldn’t understand. But he compounded his crime by ignoring the order to sit in the stands and now faces a touchline and dressing-room ban that could stretch into the knockout stages (various). “It is no excuse for a manager to say he could not find a seat,” thundered a spokesman for UEFA, who are ready to throw the book at Wenger.

Meanwhile, you can’t keep a ropey boss down … Joe Kinnear is reported to be trying to take over troubled Luton Town of League One (The Sun), while Graeme Souness says  he would jump at the chance to manage at international level (various) after being linked with the vacant Scotland job. Make that any level in Souey’s case.

Gareth Southgate is having urgent talks today with Middlesbrough chairman Steve Gibson about how much money he’ll get for January transfers (Daily Star). Tip for Gibbo: put your moolah in one of the new Abbey high interest accounts rather than giving it to Southgate to blow on the donkeys.