The thick necks of the press were all craned and contorted in one direction last night. Enter stage left - Kevin Keegan!

The man who would be king – who tried to scale the heights of the Premier League with Newcastle but failed mere inches from the summit – has returned to St James’ Park. To replace Sam Allardyce with someone who at one point was 99-1 to be appointed and has been in exile in a Soccer Circus north of the border, strays beyond  fantasy and pantomime and goes straight to Theatre of the Absurd.

The reasons for his acceptance of Mike Ashley’s offer are obvious. He is Newcastle to the bone and has had nine years to stew in his own regret about his last stint. Nobody would say no in Keegan’s position and the reported £60m transfer kitty and a £3m-a-year contract for three-and-a-half years would have merely been the icing on the cake.

'Why Newcastle, in a one step forwards, two steps backwards maneuver, decided to employ Keegan is a completely different matter'


Why Newcastle, in a one-step forwards, two-steps backwards manouevre, decided to employ Keegan is a completely different matter. Keegan will definitely bring passion and attack-minded football back to St James’ Park and the fact that Newcastle beat Stoke 4-1 in last night’s FA Cup replay can come as no surprise. There are, however, several question marks hovering over King Kev – take a look closely at him and you will see that his crown has slipped, his finger is no longer on the pulse

Football-shirt wearing, paunch-sporting Mike Ashley has gone for the fans' choice, and as such might be able to shrug off much of the blame if this blows up in his face.

In terms of Newcastle’s star player, though, emotions run in a different direction. Michael Owen definitely isn’t a Keegan fan and wrote in his autobiography: “I used to go into games believing the opposition was scared of me. That belief evaporated at times under Keegan.”  If Keegan is to succeed he needs to steer away from attempting a 90s revival. If he is looking for a Srnicek, Barton, Beresford, Howey, Peacock, Clark, Gillespie, Lee, Ginola, Beardsley and Ferdinand, he won’t find much solace in the current Newcastle squad.

Keegan himself admitted that he was out of touch with current football, telling the BBC last October that: "I mean, I haven't watched a game of football, I mean live, since my last game at Manchester City and I can't even remember what game that was now." But Keegan will now have to get up to speed very fast.

The old adage says 'never return'; I fear an ignominious end for Keegan this time round, just like Howard Kendall and history often twirls in repetitive pirouettes. Football has moved on and Keegan won’t be able to storm the castle with his cavalier football, he will also have to beat off tough hard-working teams like Everton and Blackburn, as well as a resurgent Man City also managed by an ex-England manager.

It is the image of Keegan, broken-hearted and slumped on the advertising hoardings after Liverpool’s 4-3 victory over them that sticks in my mind, and his infamous words: “I would love it if we beat them…” will stick in Keegan’s throat and haunt him like a horde of Shakespearian ghosts if he doesn’t succeed this time around.