Back to reality for all you hysterical Geordies – Kevin Keegan's first big transfer coup could be ... Manchester United’s baked bean lookalike Wes Brown (Evening Standard).

Ah, but the arrival of Special K back at Newcastle has given us all a lift and touched football funny bones across the land. Can we be the first to start the whisper that he's hoping to persuade Alan Shearer out of retirement – to partner Michael Owen up front?

In true rumour-land, Tottenham are close to a £9m deal for Olympique Lyon striker Fred. Sporting director Damien Comolli will travel to France today and it should all be sewn up by the weekend (The Independent). The 25-year-old Brazilian is seen as a replacement for Darren Bent, so now Spurs just have to offload their £16.5m summer folly, although they have yet to receive a single inquiry for the former Charlton striker.

'It's all spookily quiet on the transfer front at Liverpool, so no surprises that all the talk is of a new man to replace Rafa Benitez'


Even Middlesbrough were not interested in Bent when he was offered as part exchange for Stewart Downing (Daily Mail). Goalkeeper Paul Robinson was another sweetener for the Downing deal that Riverside boss Gareth Southgate felt compelled to turn down – he's clearly not as daft as he looks.

Spurs reportedly offered £8m on Sunday night for England midfielder Downing but Boro are holding out for £12m while White Hart Lane boss Juande Ramos thinks that's way over the odds and who can blame him?

Meanwhile, Jermain Defoe – another striker Ramos can't wait to send packing – has been having talks with Aston Villa manager Martin O'Neill about a move to the Midlands (Birmingham Post).

Spurs would be happy with £10m but the worry is that Villa will again prove that, despite a real chance of a European place, they just can't  live with the financial clout of the big boys and won't be prepared to pay Defoe's fat wages. According to 'a source': "Jermain has been to talk to Villa. The problem now is money and that may prove to be the sticking point.''

Ramos needs a defence and he is in a tug of war with Arsenal over Catania star defender Juan Vargas, who scored a goal to help dump AC Milan out of the Coppa Italia yesterday. AC Milan and Roma are also after Vargas (Daily Mirror).

It's all spookily quiet on the transfer front at Liverpool, so no surprises that all the talk is of a new man to replace Rafa Benitez following the not-so-secret approach to Jurgen Klinsmann. Fiorentina coach Cesare Prandelli is the latest to be linked with Anfield (various).

More transfer tittle-tattle ...  Real Mallorca striker Dani Guiza, recently capped by Spain, is the subject of an offer from an unnamed Premier League club (Marca). Portsmouth, West Ham and Tottenham have all been linked with the player in the last six months. Cardiff City have confirmed a move for Derby strikerRobert Earnshaw, a former Ninian Park hero (South Wales Echo).

And one definitely for the future ...  Manchester United, Real Madrid, Arsenal and Chelsea are all sniffing around Santos teenager Neymar (various). United and Real have already offered the 15-year-old attacking midfielder untold riches but the London big guns are also homing in on the kid who is already being compared to Ronaldinho (Barcelona) and Kaka (AC Milan).