I’m sure those in the know will tell me to shut my gob, but why do so many footballers have to SPIT their way around the pitch?

Wayne Rooney may have the greatest pair of feet in the business, but the Manchester United maestro made it abundantly clear at Bolton on Saturday that his mouth is as obscene as any when it comes to the disgusting habit of jetting saliva all over the pitch.

I only have a spectator’s eye view (and thankfully not an eyeful!) when it comes to explaining these matters. But if the exertions of running around football pitches make it necessary to spit, then why don’t rugby players do it? Rugby, after all, is a game for real men - not overpaid primadonnas. And why did you never see a footballer spit back  in the 1960s? I certainly can’t remember seeing players indulging in such a filthy habit in my long-lost youth - neither can any of my male friends who played the game recall doing it.

The only reasons I can see for anyone to spit on a football pitch is (a) if the person concerned is choking on his own saliva or (b) to create an impression of machoism, very much like foolish, immature teenagers do when they take up smoking because they believe that equally obnoxious habit is ‘grown up’.

Football’s spitty slickers are, physically at least, grown men. So are they not aware that every time they go to ground, they are sliding through pools of other people’s spittle? The very essence of hygiene NOT!

Perhaps the answer is to make footballers wear gumshields, which come to think of it might explain the comparatively clean manners of the rugby boys. Now spitting through one of those could result in quite a backsplash!