Here we examine, in reverse order as is the tradition of all great chart countdowns, the five leading contenders for the dubious honour of being a villainous club owner deserving of being pelted with rotten tomatoes:

5 - Malcolm Glazer (Manchester United)

The man who introduced the words "leveraged buy-out" into English football, and for that alone he scores himself a few villain points. Since then he has turned into the invisible man, wisely letting those who know a thing a two about football to get on with their jobs and generate his profit. Where is he hiding? Could he be using those profits to turn an exotic island into his own bunker? Unlikely . . . hence his entry at No.5.

4 - Hicks and Gillett (Liverpool)

'Watching some of their [Manchester City] performances last season must have been classified as cruel and unusual punishment by the UN anyway'


Where do you start to describe the sheer lunacy of this pair? They would be classed as the greatest American comedy duo since Laurel and Hardy except they continually fail to deliver a punch line. That makes them more akin to the Chuckle Brothers I suppose. Sadly, for all their ineptness and quarrelling, being compared to the Chuckle Brothers does little to enhance their James Bond villain status ("Have you got the nuclear warhead? To me . . . To you . . . ") so they can only manage a lowly entry at No.4 in our chart.

3 - Roman Abramovich (Chelsea)

A billionaire oil tycoon is probably more reminiscent of a modern James Bond villain than a traditional one, but Bond being Bond you have to give him a few bonus points for being Russian. He has got his heart set on conquering the world (or at least Europe) whatever the cost may be, and displayed a ruthless streak in disposing of Jose Mourinho, making him worthy of position No.3.

2 - Vladimir Romanov (Hearts)

How can we possibly keep this countdown limited to English Premier League owners when north of the border we have such a perfect example. Romanov has everything a Bond villain needs - he's rich, Russian, a control freak and possesses just enough lunacy to be dangerous. Who knows what is going to happen next with him around? Managers disappear with alarming regularity, players are forced out for daring to have an opinion, and western governments shake with fear at the mere mention of his name. OK, the last point might not be true but if there was any justice in this world he would hold the No.1 spot in the chart, but as it is he has to be content being No.2.

1 - Thaksin Shinawatra (Manchester City)

A new entry, and straight in at No. 1! For all their endeavours, no other owner can point to time as a leader of a foreign country and alleged human rights abuses on their CV. You can almost imagine him sitting calmly in his bunker, stroking a white cat while uttering those immortal words: "Ah Mr Bond, we have been expecting you". If press reports are to be believed he doesn't take failure lightly from his minions either. Is Sven-Goran Eriksson really standing on the trap door over the shark-infested pool below for merely turning last season's relegation fodder into a competitive team?

Supporters broadly welcomed his takeover, and who can blame them? After all, watching some of their performances last season must have been classified as cruel and unusual punishment by the UN anyway. He has certainly earned his top spot, but how long can he hold on to it for? With the ever-rising value of TV contracts, more and more foreign vultures are circling looking for the easy pickings and profits that English teams offer. Who says the FA's "fit and proper person" test isn't working well?