How do you define greatness in a footballer? We all know the so-called great names of the game, past and present, Pele, Stanley Matthews, George Best, Johan Cruyff, Maradona and latterly Gary Alexander of Leyton Orient (only joking), Thierry Henry and Kaka. Of course there are hundreds of others who would make any list which even rival fans would have to agree on.

Unlike cricket, where greatness can be measured in stats (and I doubt any player will ever reach Don Bradman’s near 100 average in Tests) and aside from goalscorers, it’s hard to define greatness through the record books. I know our friends over the pond define everything by stats - you watch a baseball game on TV and you know how many hot dogs the pitcher ate in 10th grade. But if you want to define a great defender, for instance, it’s near impossible to do so by stats, so you are reliant on that old chestnut of opinion.

I suppose you could argue that market forces can define greatness. If  X is sold for X million then he must be a great player. I think it’s fair to say that high-profile transfers like Juan Sebastian Veron and Sergei Rebrov, to name but two of many, disprove this theory. Because football is such an easy game to follow (which is one reason why it is the greatest game on earth), it is easy for a fan to form an opinion. And it makes for great banter in the boozer.

I do think, however, that before you can make a call on a player’s greatness, you have to see him live and not just on TV. The camera does not capture what a player does off the ball, which for me is one of the key issues of a player’s make-up, and you need the overall context of the entire pitch and the player’s contribution within it to form a judgement.

With this in mind, here are my unscientific parameters for forming an opinion on what makes a great player. If the player matches these criteria, he can be chalked up. The question then is, which players actually do match the criteria? I am not naming names - you can easily fit any of your heroes into each category below. But that does not mean they pass the overall greatness test; to do so they would have to comfortably fit in each category.
1. Physical strength: A key element but more so in the English game which tends to be more "full-on" than, say, Spain and Italy.

2. Speed: This attribute is by no means confined to strikers; overlapping full-backs come to mind.

3. Technical skill: Say no more.

4. Intelligence: Yes, great players are highly intelligent, not in the academic sense but in an understanding-the-game sense. And in England, where the pace of the game is so quick, being able to literally think on one's feet is crucial.

5. Ability to hold the ball and distribute: This one is crucial. Any pub player, myself included, who has had a go up front will know how difficult it is to collect a pass, hold the ball with your back to goal and distribute while a participant from the Ultimate Fighting Championship is bearing down on you.