Talking about hair . . . a top secret tip from Jerry McGuire's book on sports marketing The Things We Think and Do Not Say: The Future of Our Business – "There's no such thing as a bad hair day in sport. The wackier the better!"

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Researching this hair piece, I tried to call up the Prince de la Coiffure, Percy Montgomery, but his answering machine explained he was watching There's Something About Mary and gel-highlighting his roots with the lads.

What has rugby come to? Goodness, I mean it's truly a case of 'whatever blows your hair back' but imagining Vleis Visagie with a 500 bucks coif is pretty hairy-scary.

Gone are the days when men were men and websites like the artofmanliness.com were scoffed at by rugby players who spiked their hair with nothing but pure testosterone, a bit of blood, spit and muck.

A glance at the state of rugby is a sight for sore eyes, and I'm not even going to mention Gareth Thomas and Nigel Owens. Just look where this hairy-fairyness has led us.

Fortunately it's not only rugby. Basketball player Dennis Rodman hasn't made it big here yet and Kevin Pietersen, Shane Warne and the 'worst bowler in the world' Paul Harris provide some distraction away from the leery-looking lads who now call themselves professional rugby union players.

The list is growing literally by the day, but here are a few of my favourite wack-heads in rugby:

Kabamba Floors – The name gets me thinking 'mop', the Kabamba Floors mop is a simple job I'm told. It involves 5 kg's of swimming pool chlorine and industrial strength peroxide.

Ashley Johnson - Sports a wad of black hair that makes him look more like a 1970s pop/porn star than a rugby player. Honestly - he makes Percy Montgomery look perfectly sane.

Kobus Wiese – The man mountain. My personal favourite, and when Kobus finishes his standard two sheep brunch, he shears the fluff off the sides of his head like hotrodders put a GT stripe down their Ford Escorts. He has no ball sense and as much as I love him, he doesn't understand the basics of aerodynamics. It's not the sideburns slowing you down Kobus.

Ma'a Nonu – Forget that it looks like he's been hit with a roll of wet newpaper. Beyond all the tattoo's his dreds make me itch for the legs to get back on the park and swing him around like an Olympic hammer thrower. Tell me you've not secretly harboured that one too.

Adam Jones – The prop with the mop. With brother Duncan these two are known as 'The Hair Bear Bunch', the duo of gorgeous Welsh props look almost like a photographic negative of each other and an honorably mention must go to fellow Welshmen, Scott Quinnell. What do they put into the water in Cardiff?

I could go on, but whether it's the caveman Sebastien Chabal or mulleted Shane Williams, I think you've got the hairy picture.

Sad but true, everywhere else in modern sport they are worrying about what is going on inside a player's head, but over in rugby we seem more concerned about what's occurring on top of it.