Football v Rugby: The beautiful game's not a patch on the game made in heaven!

A lonely cry in the wilderness - what's that sound? Ah, its wuggerite bleating because his tedious sport of fat men rolling around in the mud and stamping on each other is mostly unknown to the vast majority of the worlds population.

A lonely cry in the wilderness - what's that sound? Ah, its wuggerite bleating because his tedious sport of fat men rolling around in the mud and stamping on each other is mostly unknown to the vast majority of the worlds population.

"Wayne Rooney v Shane Williams" I won't profess to know who Shane Williams is but, rest assured, he wouldn't get near Wayne Rooney in a football match. You are correct in suggesting that footballs discipline leaves a lot to be desired but rugby can hardly hold its head up high with its endless punching, stamping, gouging etc. the players are thugs. These football v rugby articles which ruggeroids wheel out occasionally serve no purpose other than to underline the insecurity which is so prevalent in the rugby camp. Keep bleating rah rahs if you must but the world isn't listening.

Well I didn’t want to start a rant but here goes……. I don’t dislike football but, if football had hair, I’d scalp it and make a voodoo doll which I’d skewer with nine-inch nails day and night. Half posturing, two-thirds preening, 78.9% showmanship and wholly lame, it is – in my estimation – a festering pustule on the otherwise cherubic face of sport. My initial anti-football rant has now become an all-consuming crusade to demonstrate, for the benefit of the uninitiated/uneducated, why rugby will always trounce football. It isn’t a hard thing to do. It is true, that rugby has a far smaller following – but this phenomenon exists for two very important reasons: firstly, because rugby is 3.75 million times more complicated than football; and secondly, because it is elite. Traditional footie fans, determined to pretend no other sport in the world exists, conveniently forget that rugby evolved from football. The key word here, of course, is “evolved” - meaning developed, according to the Oxford English dictionary. As a direct descendant of football, rugby is, by its very raison d’être, an inherently more distilled – dare I say, refined – sporting endeavor. To put it in Darwinian terms, rugby is to football what Homo sapiens are to apes (despite what the prominent-brows and anvil-knuckles of most rugby players might suggest to the contrary): better, in every way. I address your comment that rugby is somewhat a thug’s sport, while football is, conversely, a so-called gentleman’s sport – albeit played by people whose concept of high culture is a pie and a pint? Violence is indeed endemic in rugby, a full-contact – some might say collision – sport. Blackened eyes, broken noses and even paralysis are considered acceptable occupational hazards. The point, however, is that rugby’s brutality is safely contained within the 80 minute period players spend trying to tear each other apart on the pitch. When the final whistle blows, everyone’s chums again. And long before the referee calls time, the game is not without its gestures of affection: after all, where else can you see a small crowd of heterosexual men regularly entwined in an oversized hug? By contrast, football is a (mostly) contact-avoidance sport, on the rare occasions players do pass within hair-pulling distance of one another – by theatrical limb-flailing, tantrums and tears: behavior normally reserved for US chat shows and/or Elton John. But as off-pitch violence and general nastiness goes, however, football wins hands down. Perhaps the ugliest side of football – and the thing which most offends me – is it’s the people who watch it, an unsightly and barely human manifestation of the sport’s deeply entrenched tribalism. Football is possibly the only sport in the world where fans of rival teams have to be kept apart by flak-jacketed police officers to prevent them colliding with the same destructive force as matter and anti-matter. They spit, they snarl, they swear. They swing punches and occasionally launch projectiles. Racist taunts cascade from the terraces and lawlessness abounds. Rugby, on the other hand, is a bastion of comradeship, civility and chivalry. The edicts of authority are (usually) respected, and everyone mingles merrily before, during and after play – irrespective of the final score. Rugby is also imbued with a sense of nobility. Less than two decades ago, professional rugby players didn’t exist: players – even the international ones – donated their time, effort and nasal bones pro bono, performing not for money, but for the sheer love of their sport. While we’re on this, Rio Ferdinand, yes the same that should have been banned for life for not taking a drugs test, has signed a new contract to be paid £120,000 per WEEK!!! With the average earnings in the UK taking into account, he will earn more in one season than most of us will earn in our entire working career. This included Doctors, Nurses, Fireman and other people that devote their lives to saving others. I submit there is not one person (outside the football industries bubble) that can condone these ludicrous wages, can you!!? Added to this, these high-earning players spend most of their time and money, both on-pitch and off, behaving like prima donnas. Now ask yourself this: which is really the more beautiful game? On a physical level, rugby is also a far superior test of strength, stamina, agility and determination The men who play it represent supreme fitness and strength on an almost gladiatorial level, the polar opposite of androgynous, sarong-sporting and mostly whippet-like football types (I can’t recall seeing any rugby player sporting a perm or, worse, the pineapple – let alone wearing his wife’s underwear). If admiring a game played and supported by people who can stand erect and speak in erudite sentences at the same time makes me a snob, then I embrace the label like a croquet player clutching a cucumber sandwich. And, for the record, I’m a cave dwelling South Wales Valley boy, in fact from the same valley that has given us The Manic St. Preachers, Joe Calzaghe and unfortunately Neil Kinnock. I should perhaps, at this juncture, admit that my position is a teensy bit biased. I am Welsh and it is somewhat instilled in our culture. I spent my early years playing rugby union; however, football is not a completely alien concept. I have even watched Wales beat Italy a few years back in Cardiff. But I stand firmly by my choice of rugby as the superior sport – and to any scruffy, foul-mouthed football fan or player who dares to challenge me, I say: tape back your ears, shove in a mouthguard and let’s see which of us lasts longer in a scrum. My money’s on me.

"Less than two decades ago, professional rugby players didn’t exist" Being welsh you would know that professional rugby players did exist 2 decades ago and because they existed the welsh rugby union (amongst others) treated them as pariahs. The "nobility" of rugby union you seem so keen on only existed at the time as long as you hid any money you earned from playing. As soon as you admitted to earning money and became a professional rugby player you were a non -person as far the rugby union authorities were concerned. You seem rather jealous of the earning power of some professional football players. Do you think if rugby was as popular as football that the players wouldn't be earning as much? Do you think if rugby club games filled huge stadiums worldwide that the tribalism which is part and parcel of football wouldn't become part of rugby? Rugby became biggish in various enclaves of the world where football was never likely to become an international success. New Zealand and Wales just don't have the population to be competitive at international football so they mostly stick to rugby where in a much smaller pool they can at least make a good fist of things but if the world takes up rugby (which of course it wont) then you can wave goodbye to any future success.

Rugby - the game they play in heaven. Football -the game they play on earth.

If it was down to sexual orientation, soccer players would constitute females or men whom are sexually "confused". The mans game, the game played by men, is the mans game of Rugby Union, played by MEN. Written by a MAN.

"Football is a gentleman's game played by hooligans and rugby is a hooligan's game played by gentlemen" I prefer rugby, personally but have no objection to watching my national team play at football

"New Zealand and Wales just don't have the population to be competitive at international football so they mostly stick to rugby" That's why for football you need 10 players with almost identical skills and one player with an extra skill (being able to co-ordinate both hands and feet) while for rugby, every single position needs different skills. I'm not even Welsh, in fact I should hate them, I'm English, and I still think they would be up for any sort of silverware. That's what embodies the spirit of rugby - "a bastion of comradeship, civility and chivalry"

I don't know which are the silliest here, some of the points in James' deliberately provocative article or some of the replies it has evoked. I suppose it makes a change from the bitter and savage arguments between followers of rugby union (or 'rugby', as they like to call it) and leaguies. Space will not allow me to deal with all the points which have been made, so I'll pick a couple. Firstly, the idea of a football team playing a rugby team (either code) at each other's sport will never happen, so it's pointless fantasising. It's happened with the two types of rugby a couple of times with interesting, but predictable results. Secondly, I do wish some commentators would stop implying that football is a soft game. I played rugby to an admittedly low level for most of my earlier life, but I wouldn't last five minutes playing football at even top amateur level; it's no faries' game so stop pretending it is! The simple fact is that we all prefer our own sports for a variety of reasons. I agree with James Mortimer's choice: that NZ v Aus game was a classic and I can think of some others, but you don't prove a general point with selected instances. Equally I can think of some breathtaking soccer matches, and being a leaguie I can quote you many examples of classic games in my own sport. On the other hand I am not too biased to deny I've seen some dire ones. Similarly I've felt frustrated at 0-0 and 1-0 'results' in football and for rugby union examples we need go no further than some of the recent Six Nations matches or even the RWC Final. Like our interest in comedy, music, etc, our tastes are personal. I'm always happy to have an argument about any sport, but we should show enough respect to actually watch what we argue about and not be ignorant.

i agree on the tribalism in football i once went to a football match at old trafford. a visiting supporter cheered for his team and was attacked, the police had to escort him off the grounds for his own safety.growing up in a rugby family i know how much fun it is meeting foreign supporters at irish internationals.i wouldnt trade rugby's fans for anything football has.they give their team great support while still remaining friendly to the opposing fans if you have any doubts watch a munster heineken cup home match AMAZING

Classic rugby fan: "I was lucky enough to watch, minute for minute, the two greatest games of rugby union I have ever seen." haha nonsense. Rugby is a game of little class, passion, beauty or interest. Articles like this spring purely out of jealousy for rugby's much loved superior, football.

I think that they both have their own qualities and its all down to personal preference. I love to play and watch both sports, but i would rather have a mess around with a footbal than a rugby ball, because rugby is more of a serious game. This stuff that people are saying about rooney, ronaldo and drogba falling to the floor is true, except about Wayne Rooney; if you ever watch him play, he is one of the most determined footballers in the world. He may occasionaly falll but he tends to get up pretty quickly unlike drogba and many others who roll around on the floor holding their head when the supposed injury was on their knee. The thing i will never forget is whilst in an interview Drogba told the interviewer "yes sometimes i do dive".