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Smear we go with the Anti-All-Black Club's 10-point plan!
by Greg Smith on 10 August 2008
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The AABC (The Anti-All-Black Club) met today to define their mission statement promoting antipathy for the All Blacks within international rugby union. An international committee was formed and sub-committees appointed to represent 193 countries internationally, all opposing New Zealand's All Blacks.
United under a banner of truth and justice, the members of the AABC have one common interest and goal - denigration of the mythical aura surrounding the fiercely overmarketed and ultra-hyped All Black rugby union team of New Zealand.
Although the group was initially founded by South Africans in Johannesburg, their ranks have swollen to represent a very global demographic. Members of the AABC can now be found in New York, Paris, London, Milan, Rio de Janeiro and such and such. The chairman himself, Chen Shu Banmoon, is from Hong Kong. Mr Banmoon occupies a UN secretary-general type position in the united world against the All Blacks but explains he is more for truth and justice than against the New Zealanders per se.
The Chinese chairman explained the AABC's mission statement to reporters at their first General Assembly held at the International Conference Centre in Johannesburg on Friday. ''The promotion of truth and justice within international rugby union with specific reference to and focusing on the New Zealand national team's propaganda,'' was, according to Banmoon, the AABC's chief responsibility.
''We live in a very warped world when it comes to rugby union and New Zealand are the chief warpers when it comes to rugby whoppers!'' said Banmoon. ''We aim to set the rugby world straight with what we call our 10-point anti-AB plan or smear campaign''.
The AABC's campaign plan has the following aims:
1. To prove that Daniel Carter isn't God (or that God isn't Daniel Carter).
2. To erase all scurrilous AB lies and propaganda found on the interweb (admittedly, this is going to take a good long while, have you seen all their c**p out there?)
3. To lobby Adidas and other sponsors to drop-kick the ABs as 'wonderboys' (hey, we buy your stuff too, so how about a bit of balance...?!)
4. To prove that Graham Henry is an axe murderer and serial killer.
5. To ban the Haka.
6. To show that rugby was NOT invented in the South Pacific islands.
7. To edit rugby union history and archives with a fine tooth-comb, replacing the words Sean Fitzpatrick with 'dirty cheat', Richard Loe with 'great Kiwi, eh?' and such and such.
8. To etch out the All Blacks' name on all trophies between 1970-1995 (SA isolation period)
9. To showcase debatable footage involving sheep and key AB players (special thanks to the CGI team at Hollywood's Dreamworks Studios)
10. To call for yellow and red cards for most now-routine AB behaviour on and off the field. And to monitor the All Blacks' video-editing techniques which showcase themselves positively while casting 'darkness' on opposing teams.
Banmoon is confident the AABC will counter the All Black propaganda machine. I reckon most rugby union fans wish them luck and think it's about time!
Comments (3)
by Greg Smith on August 11, 2008
Ha, ha... happy days, unlike you, I have FRIENDS, we also belong to the Anti-Blue Bulls Supporters Club and we don't need to 'pick up' friends to share a beer at rugby, especially from within the ranks of the opposition ... It will be a frosty day in hell before I sit next to ANY opposing supporter - you, you... WINNER ! ha, ha
by Steven Bissett on August 11, 2008
There may come a day when South Africa create their own aura. That all depends on their ability to eliminate close matches against teams like Tonga.
by Strums on August 14, 2008
Where do i sign up?
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