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Surly, pushy and ugly - no wonder England aren't popular with New Zealanders

Jonny Wilkinson booted England to the World Cup in 2003 but they've done precious little since. And Brian Ashton's side look like a bunch of peasants compared to the super-model All Blacks.

by Hadyn Green on 10 August 2007

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When we were dishing out the countries to profile, I realised that I had been (or was going) to every country on my list (England, Portugal, Japan and the USA). Excellent, I thought, this will be the perfect chance to impart some of the cultural idiosyncrasies and stereotypes I observed into my posts.

'The All Blacks black strut the catwalks for Armani and Versace while the English team look like the peasants in Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail'

Hence, the English team will be surly, pushy, self-important, they might stab you, and they will drink the world’s worst coffee. Apart from the coffee part, that fits the English team to a tee. Since winning the William Webb Ellis Cup back in 2003, the Rose has had a spectacular reversal in form, which started in 2004 with a couple of drubbings by an angry All Blacks team.

In 2006 England played three internationals that resulted in three losses, one to Argentina. This year hasn’t been much better as they suffered four losses, including record-breaking reversals to Ireland and South Africa. Their winning coach Clive Woodward has left and even the return of the oft-injured Cup hero Johnny Wilkinson hasn’t helped. It's no consolation that England’s pool contains not one, but two of their strongest rugby opponents. No, not the French, rather South Africa and Samoa.

Samoa physically bashed England in their World Cup match in 1995 and in 2003 came very close to beating the eventual winners. And as mentioned above, South Africa have already humiliated England twice this year. Of course we have the English to thank for the resurgence of the drop-goal as a method of scoring (and how apt that they won the cup with that particularly poxy tactic). And the irony of the Springboks beating them at their own game must surely rankle the English, who despise irony.

Comments (7)

by RR on August 10, 2007

It's funny how you don't mention the 62-5 drubbing at the weekend, or for that matter beating France in the Six Nations, or the fact that it was a 3/4th string scratch English side to play SA at altitude with illness running through every player there. Not to mention the fact that in the second test, England were the better team for 50 minutes. Never let the facts get in the way of a good old anti-English rant. Whinging kiwis.

by Ai Rui Sheng on August 10, 2007

Winners are grinners comrade. The English will be lucky to qualify for the quarters as they may be beaten by Manu Samoa. I hope so! Almost all of them are Kiwis. Kiwis are not whingers. They are the most ethical nation on earth and our friends.Whingeing is the forte of the descendants of the opium traders and their convict cousins. Eight-up-the-jumper tries and a five metre scramble by a flea back against a side of village idiots, who spent most of the game looking for sheep to hide under. England a chance? Of ignominy, yes!

by Hadyn on August 10, 2007

The main reason I didn't mention the result against a very understrength Wales is that I wrote this before the match was played and didn't add it afterwards. I don't rank that victory any higher than I do any of the All Blacks giant point hauls over Fiji or Tonga. The victory over France was good, but I wouldn't count on a repeat if the teams meet at the cup.

by John Christie on August 10, 2007

Every supporter needs to favour their team - be strange if they didnt! It's enjoyable to debate the differences

by John Christie on August 11, 2007

I reckon you've got the wrong team labelled as village idiots - that label in truth belongs to only one side - South Africa who have all the fire power but are so dumb they cant get organised enough to score a try! (maybe with the yellow coat providing some back line help they might now be able to score)

by Hadyn on August 11, 2007

France 21 - England 15 I love being right :)

by Estelle on October 19, 2007

I see the village idiots are in the final.

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