This is for everyone who is in mourning. Mourning for a lost chance.

The All Blacks have lost. I still can´t believe that the best team in the world has been defeated by France. The same France that struggled and lost against Argentina in the opening match. The same France that we defeated so easily on the 2006 end-of-year tour.

How could this happen? How could New Zealand lose in a World Cup quarter-final the first time ever? How could a team that was the greatest favourite for the trophy and got out of the pool games with the most points get kicked out of the tournament before it even became serious?

'Is there a curse that lies upon the All Blacks? Why does fate not want New Zealand's biggest dream to become true?'


Yes, we were never too sure about this game and had some butterflies in our stomach because we didn't want to get our hopes up too soon. But to be honest, we thought South Africa could become tough or maybe the upcoming Pumas - but I never seriously believed that it would be Les Bleus that became our end.

Is there a curse that lies upon the All Blacks? Why does fate not want New Zealand´s biggest dream to become true? How can so many hopes and so many dreams be destroyed in 80 minutes of play?

Grey - New Zealand had to play in grey again. As if you couldn't distinguish France's tricolore jersey to a black one. How ridiculous is that? They didn't even concede this one honour to us, to walk off the field in our black jersey. They had '1987' printed on the grey jersey. A memory of a dream that once again has not come true.

It wasn´t perfect play by the All Blacks, I admit. But it could have worked. It could have worked as it did in the first half.
A ten-point lead - not too comfortable but enough to relax a bit in the few minutes of half-time.

But it all went down. I have never spent a worse 40 minutes in front of the radio and I don't think I will be able to watch the summary on TV. It will hurt too much.

I sat there on my chair, my hands clenched, crossing my fingers, praying without sound. I was shivering as I listened to the commentator. It's even worse if you aren't able to watch it.

  • You can just sit there and listen and hope and do nothing.
  • You can just sit there and hear the French scoring while time is running out. Eight minutes, seven minutes, six minutes.
  • You can just sit there, begging. Please, let the All Blacks score! Please, let them get some points! Please let this not happen!
But the clock is ticking, cruelly the seconds pass and so does your hope as it grows smaller and smaller. With 30 seconds left you can only hope for a wonder - and then suddenly it´s all over.

It´s all over and your hands slowly stop clenching and your breath is slowing down and you get all quiet. You turn off the radio because the sound is a pain to your ear and then there's silence.

You try to tell your brain somehow that the game is lost, but there is a blockade and it won't accept the truth. No, no there is something wrong! It must be a joke or a terrible nightmare and you want someone to wake you up but there is nobody because it's not a dream.

You are so shocked that you can't even cry or shout although you want to, because inside there is nothing but emptiness.

And when shock slowly fades and you see clearly, you start to ask why. Why couldn't Ali Williams's try have been valid? Why couldn't Dan Carter get this one drop goal? Why did the French have to score those two tries? And why the hell did referee Wayne Barnes sin-bin Luke McAlister? Why? Why? Why?

But it all doesn't change a thing. The game is lost. The cup over. For us. Another defeat. Another time seeing the Webb Ellis Cup in other hands. Another great disappointment.

New Zealand's heart must have broken that day. Thousands, millions of fans will be mourning. How long will it take to get over this? It all looked so promising. It will take a lot of time to heal this pain.

For my part, I will go on wearing the black jersey and I won't hang my head. I won't accept this defeat. In my heart, the All Blacks will always be No.1 and the real champions of the world.

I will not touch a baguette for a very long time and I'm seriously considering boycotting my French lessons at school.
I will keep my pride and whoever brings the World Cup home, I will not look the other way when he's going by. I will hold my head high and look him in the eye and I won't be ashamed.

I will stand behind my team - and so will all other real All Blacks supporters. For we love this team, whatever might happen.

Stand together, Kiwis. I'm feeling with you.