What are your favourite sports? Why are they your favourites? These are the questions that came to my mind when a friend of mine simply wanted to know what my favourite sport is. Can the question truly be answered? Favourite in what sense? The one I most like to play? I can answer that. The one I most like to watch on TV? A harder question, but I probably could make a list. The one where I follow all the scores on the net? Too many to name.

You see, there are plenty of ways to categorise a sport, but to answer in general which is my favourite, I have no clue at all. Then I started thinking - I can come up with a bunch of reasons, pro and con, as to why I like and hate any particular sport. If I were to sum these up, could I be closer to finding my ultimate favourite sport? Let's see:

Team sports:

Football (the European way)
Pro: The most popular sport on a global scale. Players showing off the kind of skill you never imagined possible. David Beckham whipping a precision cross from the wing that finds the head of Wayne Rooney perfectly, Ronaldinho lobbing a cross into the air using his chest, then turning his back to the goal and unleashing a deadly bicycle kick into the net. The rush all you Manchester United fans got in the 1999 Champions League final when your team went from being one goal down to winning the trophy in a couple of minutes. Same for all French fans in the 2000 European Championship final. It’s the purest sport where for one-and-a-half hours you can forget about all your troubles, forget who you are, just start yelling and chanting for your team, just be a fan.

Con: The most popular sport on a global scale. It can also be the dullest, least-watchable piece of tu*d that anyone has ever been a witness to. Don’t believe me, come to Hungary and watch a few of the matches from our national top-flight championship. All daredevils are welcome. Truth be told, football is the sport where, if the teams facing off are no good, then watching the sport holds no fun value at all. There is no true laugh factor of how awful these guys are, no sympathy factor, just sheer unwatchable (non)action for 90 minutes. You see, English, Spanish, French fans etc, you guys have it good. You have your great teams and your not-so-great ones, and you get to see quality football every week. Of course, you guys love this thing. But imagine living in a country which loves football, but stinks at it. I’d be surprised if every single Premiership fan would still love the game just the same if for a span of 10 years they were treated to the level of play seen in our national championship. My guess is that half of the fans would take up watching curling instead. As for the best reason why football is the most stupid sport in the world, we were playing football on a beach with no shoes on and afriend broke his toe when he hit the ball badly. “It’s just the stupidest sport alive,'' he summed up. ''Why would 11 grown men chase a stupid leather ball on a huge field just to kick it into a stupid net?” I think this sums up the absurdness of football (and every sport for that matter) pretty well.


Football (The American way):
Pro: The sports strategist's dream, as well as the game which exemplifies the team concept like no other. Seriously, I can’t think of any other sport where one miniscule mistake from any of the players on the field at any point in the game can have as devastating a result as in this sport. This truly is a team sport, where everyone depends on all of his teammates. Many will snarl at the on-and-off action of the sport, but this is its biggest drawing power. Unlike in soccer, where during play most fans don’t even realise the formation their team is playing in, in football it is one of the game's vital element. The viewer instantly becomes an analyst as well. While it is rare to hear European football fans say something like: “Well, the Gunners should not have used that 4-3-3 formation because it didn’t match up well against Bolton’s 5-1-2-1-1 “, it is commonplace for even the casual American Football fan to say to his buddy something like: “I can’t believe the Patriots did not use the Shotgun formation at all against the Colts’ shaky secondary”. Of course, for some people sports are a reason to avert thinking. In the case of this game, these people will be left thinking.

Con: Let’s start with the name. Football is a conjoint word, made up of the words foot and ball. The European version understandably uses the name because of the fact that the players use their feet to “handle” the ball. This version? Let’s just say that about 99 percent of the time nobody’s feet touch the ball, at least not deliberately. So why stick to the name? Also, on our side of the Atlantic, a ball is normally considered to be round. The shape of that monstrosity they use in the US of A just does not make sense. Once we’re through with these formal things, let’s just see this thing on TV and you decide whether we’re seeing a sport with too many commercials or whether we’re watching a commercial marathon with bits of sport thrown in for good measure. Come on, people, I can only watch the newest car commercial five or six times before I officially lose it and become a serial killer (seek and destroy all marketing people). Also, have you noticed the influx of unpronounceable or just simply silly names? There’s your Lofa Tatupu, the Ayanbadejo brothers, there’s a guy who’s first name is Plaxico, Adimchinobe Eschemandu, TJ Houshmandzadeh, and my personal favourite Cory Lekkerkerker (imagine hearing his name in a play-by-play commentary). Mind you, it's kind of funny that I should be the one mentioning this as my name is practically unpronounceable in English.


Ice Hockey
Pro: This is a man’s game. Speed, ice, 10 players and two overly-padded goalies. The concept is so simple, and the sport (though maybe not its winter version) is probably as old as our dear football (you can imagine how the first cavemen, bored beyond belief, picked up a stick and hit a rock around the place - just as you can imagine them kicking stones around). Hockey is fast beyond belief and has one thing which no football match can offer - non-stop goalmouth action. For those who think a sport without hard-hitting body-to-body contact is for sissies and weirdos, well, hockey delivers the ultimate dosage of body checks, penalties, fist fights. You name it, this sport has it. Heck, it actually guarantees non-stop action by allowing substitutions (line changes) on the fly. And if you’ve ever been to a hockey game, you know that nothing beats the thrill of realising you’re still alive after an errant puck barely missed you as it flew into the stands. And there's the added satisfaction of seeing that the puck actually hit the bloke sitting behind you, and he’s bleeding badly because of a broke nose).

Con: Do you actually see the puck when watching this thing on TV? I caught on watching NHL games when certain TV stations had the brilliant idea of introducing a digital highlight circle around the puck. Then a few morons thought that this ruined the whole “lifelike” experience so they threw the idea out the window. Now I’m left with the same ordeal that I had before this innovative use of computer technology - I’m watching 10 guys skate around a rink whilst they sometimes juke their sticks, and I can only guess where the puck is. Hockey is probably the only sport on TV where the only way you can know from the live action that a goal has been scored is by seeing the reaction of the players; and to see the goal itself in its full glory, you have to wait for the replay with the close-up camera view. If a player makes a shooting movement then stops skating like crazy and starts to celebrate, that’s my cue for knowing a goal has been scored. Did I catch a glimpse of the puck going into the net, or being in the net? Nope. Oh, and another thing - this is a man’s game. Have you seen women’s ice hockey? Now I, like most men, love to see a catfight or two, but to see fully-padded women on ice-skates beating each other senseless, with or without the help of hockey sticks, does not qualify as a fun time.

Basketball:
Pro: The sport with the fastest growing popularity since the 1980s. The sport that brought us the Dream Team (the original one in Barcelona). The sport that produces the most jaw-dropping highlight reels. The sport which introduces the importance of team unity, allows for multiple substitutions, which in turn gives it another strategic element. One could argue now that basketball was made for television. Today, your game has to look good and graceful for you to be considered good. High scores, high-flying acrobatics, mad ball-handling skills, eye popping behind the back – no-look passes. Basketball is intense, fast-paced, yet slow enough to let you appreciate the strategical elements of the game. No other sport gets teams to play in such unison with such a pace. It’s just a joy to play and to watch.

Con: Can we really identify with these players? I mean, most of them are freaks of nature, with the average height of pro players somewhere around 6ft 7in. However much we’d like to deny this, race is an issue in most sports (although we dare not touch upon it) and it is even more so in basketball. The fact is that the most watched professional basketball league, the NBA, has predominantly black players, whilst the coaches,  league administration and team owners are predominantly white. This chemistry leads to issues which sports fans do not necessarily want to confront (at least not in their pastimes). Also, the image of NBA players has become more and more negative these days. Every sport has its fair share of bad seeds, but basketball has been hit with a slew of DUIs, gun/shooting incidents and arrests of different nature. I mean, things have to be pretty bad when even a prominent coach gets into the headlines for a DUI.

Baseball
Pro: The ultimate social event in the USA. Baseball has been the nation’s favourite pastime for two reasons.
1. Going to a baseball game is like going to a city-wide picnic with some kind of watchable show thrown in for the sake of entertainment. You go to a game to eat hot-dogs, chat with people who fancy the same team you do, get some corndogs, popcorn and a soda, chat some more, get a little suntan going, eat a hamburger, drink a beer, chat with your friends, drink another beer. Oh, and also to catch the relevant 15 minutes of action (from a three-or-four-hour game) on the field when something important does actually happen.
2. Anyone truly can play this game. Granted, nowadays you need to be hooked on steroids to have a shot at the major leagues, but check out some of the past greats. A bunch of fat blokes that I’m not sure could beat singer Meatloaf in a 40-yard dash. Average Joe can step up to the plate, swing that bat and become a good baseball player in a cinch. Also, while this game might seem complicated at first, the rules are so simple that once you played the game, you know all there is to it.

Con: Yawn, yawn and have I mentioned yawn? I actually love to watch baseball on TV. The reason being, I watch it when I’m in bed and unable to sleep. I switch to a Mets vs Astros game, get the sleep timer of the TV on 30 minutes and after about half an inning I’m fast asleep. So, unless you are using baseball as a means to cut down on your usage of valium, the sport cannot really offer much excitement. I’m not even going to mention smile-inducing things like the recent steroid scandal that has swept the MLB (oops, did I just mention it?!)


Water polo
Pro: Really a great sport that has yet to be picked up by many TV stations around the world. It has all the elements you look for in a televised sport. The ball can be seen clearly during the action, its pace is quick enough and it is action-packed enough not to lull you to sleep. There are enough goals scored, yet scoring is not automatic so the action keeps you interested throughout the match. Bonus for all the ladies - you can check out each player’s muscle-tones through the broadcast as they wear nothing more than a bathing suit and swimming cap. Bonus for all the men - there is a women’s competition which means plenty of underwater shots of women trying to tear off each other’s bathing suits.

Con: Unless you live in Russia, Italy, Croatia or Hungary, the chances are your national team isn’t that good (apologies to all nations left off this list of four who are good at the sport). This means the only time you can definitely catch water polo on TV (the Olympics) won’t have you on the edge of your seat cheering for your side. Anyway, who wants to watch a bunch of guys wrestling each other in a pool while trying to get a ball into a net that is swimming on top of the water? (What a stupid concept for a sport?!)

Individual Sports:

Tennis
Pro: Remember Ivan Lendl, Boris Becker, John McEnroe,Bjorn Borg, Martina Navratilova and Stefi Graf? Yup, tennis has its fair share of greats who all made the sport a true television event. With McEnroe, you got the theatrics as well as the sheer brilliance of his game. The early version of  Agassi (v1.0 with jeans and long hair included) gave you the teenage revolutionary figure, a drama subplot where everyone wanted to see whether the conservativism of the sport would break him or not. Becker was the wunderkind, and even the jokes about Navratilova like “Is it a he or a she?” were all in good fun. Tennis gives you personalities that you can like or dislike, kind of like a sports soap opera.

Con: Is this still the same sport that I've depicted above? You’re lucky to get one or two great plays per competition (not even per match). The whole thing has become a power serve and then go in to volley for the kill. I’ve tried time and again to watch some of the bigger competitions, and have come away utterly disappointed each time. Agassi was my last hope; he was still playing the old baseline game that assured a pretty and tactical game. Now he has retired as well. Also, how stupid is a sport that is the real-life rendition of Pong the videogame?


Alpine Skiing

Pro: The sheer unexpectedness of this sport is unbelievable. The way the unknown youngster can surprise everyone and get an unbelievably good result with a starting number so high that most TV broadcasts have already packed it up for the day is unprecedented. I remember quite a few years back when Joseph Strobl, an unknown member of the Austrian second squad finished in the top three with a starting number in the 80s. I was watching the race on an Austrian channel as they were the only ones broadcasting live, but their coverage ended when 60 of the skiers were done. Later that day I caught the taped version of the race, where I learned the final result. Great show. Consider the sheer differences in the events from downhill all the way to slalom, and you always get good entertainment value when you elect to watch the FIS World Cup.

Con: Watching skiing on TV? You must be joking. How much fun can it be to watch 50-60 guys slip-sliding down a set course one after another, racing only against the clock? Sounds like making the Formula 1 qualifying the main event and letting the race go.


Formula One (and all motor sports for that matter)
Pro: Two hours of sheer horsepower mayhem. Any car fanatic will simply love the fact that he can listen to the sound of a Ferrari engine for so long. The sheer brilliance of the drivers, the overtaking manoeuvres, the gestures made to slower cars when they obstruct the path to glory for too long. All of this makes Formula One THE SPORTING EVENT every second (or third) weekend during its season. You also cannot deny the fact that most auto racing viewers love to see the pileups, the crashes, the miraculous escapes.

Con: Are these guys for real? All of this ''I don’t like him we don’t like you'' drama is a major piece of… Somehow the soap opera feel does not bode well with this sport. Also, due to the fact that for the most part of the race nothing really happens, the enjoyment factor is largely down to how good the commentary team is. Here in Hungary they are pretty awful. I’ve heard the US version as well, and it wasn’t what I’d call interesting; the German commentary is always about Michael Schumacher, which becomes a drag after a while. I’ve seen a French broadcast once and that was quite nice (meaning enough info to make you listen, without getting too technical). So, in all fairness, that’s one out of four that I deemed watchable.


Golf
Pro: A beautiful sport. You get to see lovely landscapes, escape the rush of the modern world, relax and slip in some golf. If you get to know the sport, you learn to appreciate the skills on display. A chip shot with a strong headwind blowing and a sand trap nearby is not easy to pull off well. Plus what most people wouldn’t believe  - there is true excitement in golf. Imagine the last hole of the final round, Tiger Woods needing at least a birdie to win. OK, so it isn’t nailbiting edge-of-your-seat excitement, but you do want to see what happens in the end.

Con: Wake me up when they get to the final hole, will you, honey?


Athletics
Pro: A slew of events guarantees that you find your favourite, be it in the javelin, shot put, any of the sprint or long-distance running events, pole vault, high jump, long jump etc. Actually there’s enough happening at an athletics event to keep watching it. Watching the marathon by itself is no fun, but taking in 15 different events and in between having a brief flash check on how tired and sweat-soaked all the athletes are is quite good fun. Some of the events are not too entertaining, but the package as a whole is pretty good.

Con: Qualifying heats, semi-final heats, pre-final heats, when does this thing end? With lots of events being shown at almost the same time, you can’t keep track of the details. You’ll get a severe case of  “Who dat? What dat?” before any medals are decided. Some events should simply be cut; some of those longer distances are just ridiculously boring, and you lose track of everything by the final two laps, when things start getting interesting.

 
So what does this all mean? Nothing, really. It was all good fun to look at the positives and negatives of some of my favourite pastimes, yet I feel no closer to answering the initial question. With no other possible options I shall then give my answer to the question of my favourite sport. I love them all, and for different reasons. Can't and won't pick a favourite, so sue me!