Home > Up top down under with Liesel Jones, Shane Warne and Co
by Craig Hackney on 01 January 2007
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The year 2006 proved to be a pretty good one for sport, particularly Australian sport which, to me, is all that really matters. It started out with a bang with our cricketers defeating the Sith Ifricans (say it out loud – it makes sense) in the final Test of the home series, winning the triangular one-day series and going over to beat them 3-0 in Tests on their own turf . Not that it was all perfect. The Aussies amassed a world-record 434 one-day tally only to be beaten by four runs in one of the most spectacular run-fests ever seen (Pakistan went on to later eclipse even this remarkable score) with the Aussies losing the ODI series 3-2. As the local cricket season faded and the nation drifted into that sporting dead zone between the summer and winter sports, we were treated to the Winter Olympics and that festival of mediocrity known as the Commonwealth Games (or the unofficial Sierra Leonian migration programme as it has become known). The Winter Olympics should be exciting but, for some reason, it just doesn’t do it for me. The last time that I was remotely interested in snow skiing was when the dead hand of Charles Darwin reached out to run Sonny Bono into a tree, thus righting a wrong perpetuated by a generation of variety television watchers and the voters of California’s 44th Congressional District. Admittedly, Darwin got involved too late to stop him from breeding, but it was a point that had to be made. If we can only get George W and Arnie to Aspen, he could finish the job (Apparently, Darwin did make an effort over the Christmas break, but the Governator only broke his leg). The Winter Olympics somehow reminds me of a rich kids' playground that we are occasionally given a tour through just to make us envious. Maybe it’s because I only see snow every ten years or so that I have no interest in what they do on it. Besides, I really can't cope with ice dancing being considered a sport. I know it takes fitness and hours of work, but so does landscaping and that should never be regarded as a sport. Australia's only gold medalist this time around was a Canadian chap who I'm sure knows where Australia is, but I'm not convinced he'd ever been here.
As for the CGs, Aussies seem to like them for some reason; mainly, I suspect, because we’re good at them. They are, however, an increasingly anachronistic affair. They came into effect so that we – the members of the Commonwealth – could get together for a run, jump and a shoot together to remind us that we’re all on the same team. Now, of course, we go off and invade Iraq instead. The CGs are harmless enough, the sporting contests are, for the most part, pure sport and the athletes compete for the glory of said sport. They do, however, suffer from an identity crisis. On one hand, they want to be considered as an elite sporting festival but, at the same time, they want to be friendly and inclusive. The result is a mixed bag of excellence and ordinariness, with a leaning towards the latter. Only four world records were broken, one by the Australian women’s medley relay team, one by Liesel Jones and two by Matthew Cowdrey, an EAD swimmer.
Meanwhile, Geoff Ogilvy became the first Aussie in 25 years to take out the US Open golf championship and the first Aussie golfer to win a major in 11 years. The one constant for the years was that no matter where an Aussie sportsman/woman had performed well, our PM, John Howard, was sure to appear. It is always vaguely amusing watching Howard interact with athletes, knowing that he has spent a lifetime simultaneously living in envy and being shunned by them. He is like the overly enthusiastic little brother that your mum always made you take to play with your mates, really annoying, but imbued with a false sense that he is popular because your mates were nice to him. The athletes don’t know quite whether to be excited at meeting the PM or to be afraid, as he exudes this stalker-like obsessiveness when being introduced to successful people.
Comments (3)
by Jillr on January 02, 2007
Time to swap nationalities! Any Aussie want to trade?
by Michael Clough on January 02, 2007
Sorry Jillr but as my favourite cricket chant of the year goes "I'd rather be a convict than a Pom!" LOL
by Craig Hackney on January 02, 2007
Good luck Jill, I haven't been able to get rid of mine after 33years of living in Aus. You can't give them away!
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