Trash talk is part and parcel of international cricket, as emphasised by the Australian old guard. Glenn McGrath, known for his exceptional bowling and leading the Australian attack on England’s opening batsmen, started his verbal attack last week on spin bowler Monty Panesar. I reckon most people would regard this as a sign that the Aussies are worried by the threat of England beating them again.

Travelling to work on the London tube is often an eye-opening experience, for a variety reasons. Anyway, this particular midweek I sat next to two Aussies and a northerner. They looked shattered, the look you have when you’ve got in at 3am, eaten cereal and slept on the sofa, with a killer hangover and a nine-hour shift to look forward to.

The three started discussing the difference between lager and beer, then progressed to the best drinkers and then to the best alcoholic substance. The Aussies fought their corner, as you would expect; the northerner (the seasoned drinker) just laughed it off and pointed out they were all at the Ashes games in the summer of 2005.

This gave the whole tube carriage something to listen to. The two Aussies were still clearly affected by the Ashes defeat, with the northerner (who must have been from near Sheffield) laughing and taunting them. I do not wish to be stereotypical, but most of the Australians who have ever graced my life have been extra-confident and always felt the need to knock the English - especially when cricket is involved.

These two Aussies looked like surfers. They wore quicksilver jackets, and one was adorned in a big yellow-and-green scarf (this was early October, still very humid and sweaty rosy-red faces on the tube). Both commented how England will lose the series 5-0 and how Brett Lee will destroy us. The Englishman smiled and said: “Bruce, you lost the last Ashes series and you thought you were the greatest. Let’s just wait and see. Anyway, it will be a good drinking session and I’ll drink you under the table”

The Australian pair then picked up on Andrew Flintoff being injured and only ever having had one good series. On hearing that, most of the carriage turned round, looked at the bleach-blond pair and collectively said “rubbish” (clearly, being English, the word wasn’t rubbish - but you I’m sure you catch the drift).