The U.S. Open is the least appealing major, Australia is laid back and friendly. Roland Garros has the red clay and romance of Paris and Wimbledon, the green grass and tradition.

The U.S. Open appropriates New York's crudest elements as its signature. "Yeah, we're loud, we're gritty, we're in-your-face. You got a problem with that?"

Worse still, CBS TV runs the Open. TV doesn't cover the event; TV stages and schedules the event. The tail wags the dog. The USTA? The Open (read TV rights) is the USTA's cash cow. Enough said.

Marion Bartoli is a throwback. She's a reminder of a time when women tennis players -- skilled as the were -- were often not physically fit. Think of Francoise Durr, Christine Truman, Julie Heldman, et.al.. But we needn't go back that far. Chris Evert, after her coltish teen years, was pudgy. Martina Navratilova is often credited with introducing fitness regimens to the tour but before she did, she was one corpulent Czech.

How Bartoli runs down balls while hitting two-handers off both side defies the laws of physics. As for her courtside inspiration, five years ago who would have thought that the most influential Pierce at Wimbledon 2007 would be Brosnan, not Mary?

We are told the roof over Wimbledon's Centre Court will solve the rain problem. Not so much. At the tournament's start, 64 first round matches must be played in both singles draws. Then there are three doubles draws, add the boys and girls events, tack on the oldtimers' events. Rain will still fall in SW19, and it will fall on every court but one.